Wisdom Teeth Removal Puns

"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"

(Suit yourself)

Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...

To be honest this is pretty demolarizing

Because I'm full of holes and everything hurts.

“Cause it’s killing me!”

Love him.

Dad: We have to go pick up your sister's medication on the way too.

Me: Medication? What happened to her?

Dad: She got her 2 bottom wisdom teeth removed yesterday.

Me: Ohhh alright.. Wait. Why only 2?

Dad: They didn't want to make her too stupid! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: ....

My brother went in to discuss getting his wisdom teeth removed with his dentist. He was talking about the meeting with my parents and he got to the point about where he talked about anesthetic. He said that he was just going to have them numb the area around his teeth. Then my parents were saying that they are surprised he wasn't going under. This is where i struck, saying that "it would be foolish to go to Australia to get his teeth pulled".

Groaning ensued

The other day I witnessed the first ever dad joke to come out of my dad's mouth. He is 66.

Conversing about dental work:

Dad: "They keep telling me to get my wisdom teeth removed. I am 66."

Me: "Yeah, seems a little late for that."

Dad: "I never got wisdom teeth on this side, but I have them over here, which is probably why I am half stupid..."

I laughed immediately. It took the rest of the family a little longer to notice the dad joke.

My girlfriend had her wisdom teeth removed yesterday, and last night she accidentally woke me up as she was reaching to take another Vicodin, since the pain in her jaw had woken her up. We were both in a daze, still half asleep.

• Me: What time is it...?
• Her: Ummmm... 2:30 [AM].
• Me: Oh... ... I guess that makes sense...
• Her: ...What...?
• Me: It's two thirty... tooth... hurty...
• Her: ...go to sleep.

I was impressed my wits were still razor sharp in the wee hours of the morning!