i'm working on puns and wordplays for my inktober. This is handburger
I once did a theater performance on puns...
Just figured I’d announce that I’ll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.
Does this belong on puns, punions
I am writing a drama on puns.
It's going to be a play on words.
Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!
So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:
“Seaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks”
or
“Thanks, but No Tanks”
Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:
This changed my outlook on puns.
Wingfield Brothers Inc: Degree project. A hypothetical company which make products based on puns.
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, “You’re an 8 on a scale of 10.”
I still don’t get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
Found this on r/technicallythetruth
What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?
As the cop knocked on my door, I just stayed in complete silence. He then knocked again. Determined not to give myself away, I just stayed still.
Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."
Mee: "You are not coming in."
Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"
What does a clam do on his birthday?
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
I was on a roll when I made this
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
Always be aware of your surroundings. Even on your midnight toilet trips.
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are always sick on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weekend immune system.
A bald man got a great deal on a wig today - only $1!
It was a small price toupee.
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
I see so much beautiful art here on Reddit so I wanted to join in.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..
Personally I'm not a fan.
I exercise by running up the street and knocking on all the doors....
There was a murder on a train do you know if the suspect was caught?
No, he covered his tracks.
(Thought of this this morning go easy on me!)
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
I switched all the labels on my wife’s spice rack
I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
I rely on hotels so much,
I've actually become quite inn-dependent.
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...
How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
We don’t have any vegetable jokes on this Subreddit yet...
So if you do, lettuce know.
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
Why did they build the university on a mountain?
It was a place of higher learning.
I once did a theatrical performance on puns
I did a theatrical performance on puns.
I once attended a theatrical performance on puns
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