i'm working on puns and wordplays for my inktober. This is handburger
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︎ Oct 17 2020
I once did a theater performance on puns...
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Just figured Iβd announce that Iβll be doing a theatrical performance on puns later this week.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
tonight on puns
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︎ Sep 18 2019
Does this belong on puns, punions
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︎ Aug 17 2019
I am writing a drama on puns.
It's going to be a play on words.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!
So Iβve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:
βSeaworldβs Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanksβ
or
βThanks, but No Tanksβ
Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you donβt like either. (:
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︎ Jan 30 2018
This changed my outlook on puns.
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︎ Oct 04 2017
Wingfield Brothers Inc: Degree project. A hypothetical company which make products based on puns.
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︎ Jun 19 2011
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said, βYouβre an 8 on a scale of 10.β
I still donβt get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton...
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
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︎ Mar 15 2021
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling βI stepped on a Bee!β
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Found this on r/technicallythetruth
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︎ Mar 01 2021
What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
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︎ Mar 11 2021
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, whatβs on the outside?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
As the cop knocked on my door, I just stayed in complete silence. He then knocked again. Determined not to give myself away, I just stayed still.
Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."
Mee: "You are not coming in."
Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"
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︎ Mar 13 2021
What does a clam do on his birthday?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
I was on a roll when I made this
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
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︎ Mar 24 2021
last gift on birthday
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︎ Jan 28 2021
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Always be aware of your surroundings. Even on your midnight toilet trips.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
I made some ideas into images to put on to phone cases. This is my favourite - Get Off Your High Horse
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︎ Mar 20 2021
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are always sick on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weekend immune system.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
A bald man got a great deal on a wig today - only $1!
It was a small price toupee.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I see so much beautiful art here on Reddit so I wanted to join in.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
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︎ Mar 25 2021
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
They met on line
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..
Personally I'm not a fan.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I exercise by running up the street and knocking on all the doors....
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︎ Mar 18 2021
There was a murder on a train do you know if the suspect was caught?
No, he covered his tracks.
(Thought of this this morning go easy on me!)
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︎ Mar 25 2021
My wife looked at my son (7) yesterday and told him his shoes were on the wrong feet
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I switched all the labels on my wifeβs spice rack
Iβm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I rely on hotels so much,
I've actually become quite inn-dependent.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
How do you get pikachu on a bus?
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︎ Mar 12 2021
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...
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︎ Mar 18 2021
How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
We donβt have any vegetable jokes on this Subreddit yet...
So if you do, lettuce know.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Ooh thatβs on point
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Why did they build the university on a mountain?
It was a place of higher learning.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I once did a theatrical performance on puns
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I did a theatrical performance on puns.
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︎ Sep 24 2013
I once attended a theatrical performance on puns
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︎ Jul 04 2014
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