Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and no matchbox or lighter, what do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
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︎ Feb 05 2021
3 men are stuck on a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
They throw one over board and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What do you call a corpse on a boat?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Thereβs two morons on a boat. One of the morons is larger. The larger moron falls off. Why?
The little one was a little more on.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Theres a leek on the boat!
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Best game to play on a huge boat?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is theyβre working on a self driving boat as well.
Theyβre going to call it the iAye
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven Cβs
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︎ Dec 09 2020
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.
Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.
It was quite a powerful dictator ship.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
What do you say to a police officer when he gets on your boat?
Police put on your life vest!
(This is a joke I made up at the age of 6 while on a boat!)
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Saw a deal earlier to stay on a canal boat but I was worried about covid situation
There's bound to be a lock down there
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︎ Sep 22 2020
How do you get Pikachu on a boat?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I went to see a demonstration on steel boat building.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
One of my friends was cooking in a wok on the back of a boat.
He was making a stern fry.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
You were on a boat, I turned around and looked back, there was not a single person but you, why?
Because they were all married but you
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews
I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Post and Repost were on a boat. Post fell off. Who was left?
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...
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︎ Jun 08 2020
How many fish can you fit on a boat?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
What's one vegetable you should NEVER bring on a boat?
LEEKS.
(my 10yo told me this - he said he thought it up himself.)
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︎ Jul 05 2019
When a guy I know meets people, he says he likes to treat them to shark fishing on his boat...
He says he's gotten a lot of chums that way.
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︎ Apr 29 2020
I saw a boat out on a saltwater lake!
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︎ Jun 01 2020
What's a snail on a boat?
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︎ Feb 17 2020
My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
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︎ Jul 03 2019
What song does the Rick and Morty creator listen to while on a boat?
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︎ Mar 05 2020
Why do Norwegian boats have a barcode on the side
So they can Scan-di-navian
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What do you call a snail on a boat
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︎ Jan 21 2020
On a boat with 4 cigarettes...
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︎ Aug 04 2017
I got a great deal on an upside down boat.
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︎ Feb 18 2019
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.
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︎ Nov 30 2019
Have you ever been on a party boat?
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︎ Jun 12 2019
What do you call a dog on a U-boat?
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︎ Jan 13 2019
Two men are working on a shipping boat headed to Ireland...
They are both quality control managers and are instructed to check on the product before leaving.
They go below deck and open on of the boxes, and inside are hundreds of potatoes. One of them picks one up and notices that itβs a very odd shape for a potato. He picks up another and is also perplexed by its peculiarity.
He picks up a third and realizes that they are all shaped like penises. He says to his friend βI donβt think we can work on this ship with all these penis potatoes.β
So they go up to the captains quarters to quit. When they arrive they say βCaptain, we cant work on this ship. We would like to get off.β
He looks them in the eye and says, βIβm sorry gentlemen. This isnβt a democracy. Itβs a dictatorship.β
β
Originally read on r/jokes , but reworded for brevity.
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︎ Jun 17 2019
If you flip a boat over, it will fit on your head;
After all, it's now ... capsized!
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︎ Apr 01 2017
If a man sold drugs on his boat..
Does that make it a dealership?
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︎ Aug 11 2018
Two men were on a boat and wanted to smoke but they didn't have anything to light their cigarettes.
So the they threw a cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.
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︎ Aug 13 2018
On a recent boat trip, we got to pet a whale!
It was a happy occasion but I was feeling Blue.
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︎ Jul 23 2019
Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no matches or lighter. What do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Four men are stranded with nothing but cigarettes on a boat with no way to light them
So they throw one cigarette off board, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
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︎ Oct 12 2019
What's the worst vegetable to bring on a boat?
π︎ 2k
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︎ Mar 09 2016
What do you call a snail on a boat?
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︎ May 09 2019
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