It's about thyme.
You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup!
Auburn
By putting them in an oven
Cause nobody wants to eat cow ass.
Anyone can roast Beef.
They needed another ten minutes
My mum commented" That won't do the chicken any harm"
I responded with...
"It's already dead"
Oops, wrong sub.
But i prefer them well done
What am I - chopped liver??
Dad: "Just fixing dinner."
Yo mama so fat, she couldn’t even cross the road!
Boy, the duck might have been small but its bill sure was big.
It’s pretty good but it’s a bit on the dark side.
If you don't get it, sleigh it out loud.
Having roast pork for Sunday dinner, which needed to be scored to make crackling:
Mum: The meat needs to be scored.
Dad: 5 out of 10.
Mods, if this is against the rules, I apologize. Feel free to remove and I'll try and find better luck on Google.
I'm a middle school teacher and my 8th graders are graduating on Thursday. They've been a great, wonderful class to have, but they always complain about lame my jokes are. I feel that the most suitable way to send them off would be, either on the last day of class or at their graduation ceremony, would be to send them off with their own individual dad roast from me. (Think Norm MacDonald at the Bob Saget roast).
If anybody has any good dad roast jokes that won't get me fired nor get misconstrued for bullying, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!
The whole thing got pretty heated.
New Delhi
I’ll be here all week
And said, “I cooked butt!”
[For real. I’m sitting at the table right now.]
Barista: Some people say it tastes like dirt, but what do they expect, it was ground this morning.
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
That way I have a shoulder to cry on.
There's no such thing as a poultry crime! (Stolen from a hero dad in country Australia http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/give-me-the-bloody-chicken-hero-dad-thwarts-chook-thief-outside-coles-20180109-h0fl5g.html )
It was a little green behind the ears!
Anyone can roast beef...
Anybody can roast beef!
Anyone can roast beef...
Anyone can learn to roast beef.
Anyone can roast beef.
Anyone can roast potatoes.
Anyone can roast beef...
You can roast beef but you can't pee soup.
Everybody can roast a beef ;)
Anybody can roast beef.
You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup!
You can roast beef but you can't pee soup
Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup!
Everyone can roast beef, but nobody can pea soup!
What about the glue?
I got stuck on it.
You can roast beef. You can't pea soup.
Anybody can roast beef, but not everyone can pee soup
Anyone can roast potatoes...
