british roast dinner
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katiebokan
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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So we're having a roast dinner; cue stupid dad joke.

Having roast pork for Sunday dinner, which needed to be scored to make crackling:

Mum: The meat needs to be scored.

Dad: 5 out of 10.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2014
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Dad at Sunday roast dinner.

Me - Pea falls from fork onto ground Dad - I see we have an esca-pea Me - groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DownUnderBrother
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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Was making roast lamb for dinner and dropped the tray out of the oven .

It was a ca-lamb-ity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torakwho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
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I'm trying to make herb roasted chicken for dinner and just ran out of one of the ingredients...

I don't have thyme for this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrannyLow
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I just roasted some potato wedges for dinner, and told my family.

My sister said, "Looks great! I usually roast my potatoes in cubes."

To which my dad said, "That's strange, I usually use an oven."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pillowblood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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A man takes his wife to an unusual restaurant where you must stand in separate lines for each food item ...

As they sit down, the husband offers to go get their dinner. First he waits in line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes. He he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and even the gravy line.

He finally returns to the table with two heaping plates of food. β€œWhat would you like to drink?” he asks.

β€œA glass of punch would be nice,” she says. So off he goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, a line for milk, even a line for water. After considering all of his options he gives up and returns to the table empty-handed.

Sometimes there is no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Curmudgeon1836
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Turkey Riddles

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

A: The outside!

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?

A: Because he had the drumsticks

Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted?

A: Boy! I’m stuffed!

Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?

A: The turKEY

(source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/turkey-riddles/)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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I hate Sundays.

Everyone makes fun of me at "roast" dinner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I'm 18, I'm not ready to be a father

Whilst making a roast dinner, a friend asked me whether we should time the potatoes. I told her it wasn't a race.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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DUCK!

When I was waiting tables in a French bistro, I had a gentleman order the duck confit appetizer, followed by the roast duck entree.

As I cleared his dinner, he said, "Now you can bring me my third duck course."

I said, "I'm afraid I haven't got a duck dessert, Sir."

He said, "No, no - the bill!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasp449
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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Every single sunday

Every Sunday, my family gathers at Sunday dinner (England here) and we have a roast. More often than not, we have roast chicken. We know it's coming, we expect it, yet still we think that maybe, just maybe, this will be the week that my dad doesn't tell THE joke.

My mum serves the food and asks "who wants a piece of chicken?" Then comes the response from my dad.

"I don't like chicken. It's fowl." He then proceeds to eat most of the chicken, while laughing to himself.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmypizzlay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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While at the supermarket...

My wife and I entered WinCo to do some dinner shopping, and we walked by the meat counter just as a stocker with a serious case of plumber's crack was putting meat out. I turned to my wife and said, "That's not the kind of rump roast I had in mind."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyhandedDOOM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
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