I've placed simultaneous orders for a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats, and for an egg omelette on DoorDash

Looks like we're about to find out, once and for all, what comes first!

👍︎ 95
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📅︎ Apr 06 2021
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A woman asks her husband in the morning regarding breakfast.......

"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It must be the Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite.

At lunchtime, she asks him if he'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."

"Well," she says: ""Can you now stop and get off me? I'm bloody starving!!".

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📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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What do you call the spirit of a dead hen haunting a farm?

A poultry-geist.

Courtesy of my father while eating rotisserie chicken.

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👤︎ u/valmian
📅︎ Feb 24 2018
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My dad threw this one on me today

we picked up pizza and wings for dinner tonight, and my dad had some questions about the wings.

Dad:"I thought we got buffalo wings."

Me:"No, we ended up getting the barbecue wings."

Dad:"Right, barbecue buffalo wings."

Me:"The girl at the pizza place gave us a choice of barbecue, buffalo, or rotisserie."

Dad:"Oh, so these aren't buffalo wings?"

Me:"No."

Dad:"No wonder they're so small." walks away laughing up a storm

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👤︎ u/jnatale
📅︎ Dec 11 2013
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