Barbeque Puns

Me!

Me tooo!

Meat ooo!

He wasn't happy when he saw the line of plastic dolls in the garden.

but he mustard the energy to ketchup and win!

I call it "Mesquite O's"

I was in the fenced in side yard grilling some chicken for dinner. I had the kids in the front yard playing. I told my wife I put them out there so they wouldn't get all up in my grill.

My wife and I were driving through town when we passed a store named Mr Barbeque. I told her that it's a good store, but Mrs Barbeque claims all the credit.

After she grumbled for a while, we passed another store just a few blocks away, called Miss Chocolate. I explained that this was Mrs Barbeque's maiden name, she opened it up after she left Mr Barbeque. It was a very bitter divorce, she lost all the sugar in the settlement.

I went to a Korean BBQ restaurant today to celebrate my birthday, and one of the things this restaurant is known for is bringing out a lot of side dishes. Like 20 of them, to the point that there's no way we could finish it all.

So after we eat the manager comes around and asks how we liked the food.

>Dad: The food was really good, but I have a problem with the side dishes

>Manager: Oh no, I'm so sorry, what was the problem?

>Dad: There weren't enough of them, the selection was too small!!

At this point he starts doing the dad laugh, but the manager still didn't realize he was kidding, so my mom had to butt in and say it was wonderful. Hope we didn't offend or anything -.-

The most important Dad at the annual neighborhood end of Summer barbeque bash!

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

My dad and i picked up some charcoal and some pear wood to smoke on the BBQ with. in the car my dad suggested that we should get a partridge for dinner. i asked him why. he said "so we can smoke a partridge with a pear tree." i audibly groaned and didn't talk to him for the rest of the car ride home.

I was hanging out with my dad at a 4th of July barbeque. One of the guys there said, "women should be seen and not heard." The guy next to him smirked and said, "women should be felt and not seen." My dad said, "women should be polyester, not felt."

I was just on vacation in the Bahamas and took a tour boat to Paradise Island. The guide told us it used to be called Hog Island because of all the pigs, but it wasn't a very attractive name.

To solve the hog problem so the island could be developed, the locals killed them all and had a giant barbeque.

One could say they went hog wild. I hear at the barbeque they really pigged out.

After a barbeque we're in the car, my dad, my mother and I. My dad is very drunk and annoying my mother, who's driving. My mother: Martin, shut up, you're getting on my tits now. Dad: Maybe I wanna get on your tits.

I just subscribed to dadjokes and I absolutely love it. Probably because i have the same sense of humor. Anyway here is what happened last night as I was home visiting for dinner.

My mom has spent all day preparing a glorious meal of shredded barbeque chicken, spanish rice, and corn bread (the kind of home cooked meal you just don't get in college). One of my moms absolute favorite things is cornbread and honey. so while we were sitting at the table waiting for her to get her plate she set my dad up for his moment of glory. "Is my honey on the table already?" I saw the look in his eyes he knew he had her! "No sweety I'm in my chair. I haven't had enough to drink to get on the table yet!" I laughed high fived my dad while my mom and my sister rolled their eyes.

At one point at a family barbeque today the ended up sitting on a potato chip.

Mother-in-law: "better on your butt then on your shoulder."

Groans from everyone.