I'm writing a new Broadway show called "Puns"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 25 2015
Currently writing a screenplay for a show called Pun: The Musical.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
There's this planet, where the pointy-haired natives never smile, never crack a joke,
except every seven years, when all they do is word play.
It's called Pun Farr.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 19 2016
What do you call Andrew Tate in prison?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 31 2022
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Dec 28 2022
What do you call a fat vampire?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 03 2023
What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 metres long?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 07 2023
What do your call your mum if she used to be your dad?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 29 2022
What do you call people who sleep in their socks?
π︎ 411
π
︎ Jan 07 2023
An old man on his deathbed calls together his family. βMy darling wife are you here?β he asks. βYes dear, I'm hereβ, she replies. βAnd my son, are you hereβ he gasps. βYeah dad, I'm right here.β βMy darling daughter are you here?β βYes daddy, I'm hereβ.
The man says, βWell, if youβre all here, why the hell are the lights on downstairs!?β
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 03 2022
What do you call a man with no arms, and no legs, in a pile of leaves?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 24 2022
What do you call a bunch of whales singing?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 04 2022
A man walks into a bar with a small newt on his shoulder. The bartender said, βWhat an interesting pet. Whatβs his name?β βTiny,β the man replied. The bartender said, βThatβs an odd name. Why did you call him Tiny?β
βBecause heβs my newt.β
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Nov 22 2022
Still trying to understand why they called the movie "Castaway"
Tom Hanks never used a fishing rod once
π︎ 754
π
︎ Jan 01 2023
What do you call a werewolf who dosenβt know theyβre a werewolf
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Dec 14 2022
What do you call a fish who whereβs a bow tie?
π︎ 181
π
︎ Jan 02 2023
I've decided I want a pet termite. I'm going to call him Clint.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Nov 27 2022
What do you call a black man on the Moon?
An astronaut. What's wrong with you?
π︎ 249
π
︎ Jan 01 2023
Iβm opening a new restaurant called IDK
That way, when men ask their girlfriend or wife what they want for dinner, she can say βI Donβt Knowβ.
π︎ 144
π
︎ Jan 03 2023
What do you call two witches living together?
π︎ 457
π
︎ Dec 24 2022
My wife dadjoked me tonight. I was saying that I need to call a small engine repair guy to look at our snowblower.
She responds, βwell, Kellyβs husband Mike fixes those things but heβs pretty tall.β
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 17 2022
What do you call a partner who snoops through your phone?
π︎ 89
π
︎ Jan 05 2023
What do you call Bananas without B ?
π︎ 459
π
︎ Dec 12 2022
What do you call a fat psychic?
π︎ 952
π
︎ Dec 08 2022
A girl said I was mean for calling her average
She was the one that's mean
π︎ 849
π
︎ Dec 20 2022
what do you call an empty jar of cheez whiz
π︎ 488
π
︎ Dec 17 2022
This morning, Siri said, βDonβt call me Shirley.β
I accidentally left my phone inΒ AirplaneΒ mode...
π︎ 392
π
︎ Dec 18 2022
There's a new game called "Silent Tennis."
It's like regular Tennis, but without the racquet.
π︎ 716
π
︎ Dec 24 2022
What do you call spiders on a honeymoon?
π︎ 285
π
︎ Dec 27 2022
What do you call a doctor who drinks a lot of soda?
π︎ 249
π
︎ Dec 19 2022
What do you call crystal clear urine?
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 05 2023
So iβve formed a group called "The Palindromes"
Our first single, out now, is βIf I Had A Hi-Fiβ.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 30 2022
What's it called when you use an extension cord as a belt?
π︎ 419
π
︎ Dec 13 2022
What do you call a dentist who's a deep thinker?
π︎ 449
π
︎ Dec 23 2022
What do you call a cow who's done amazing things in her life?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 08 2022
What do you call a girl on a house?
Ruth.
What do you call a boy with a shovel? Doug
What do you call a boy without a shovel?
Douglass
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
π︎ 80
π
︎ Dec 22 2022
What do you call a male cow that keeps falling asleep?
A bulldozer.I just made this up. I apologize for my self and my entire ancestory that led to this.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 16 2022
What do you call a woman Iron Man?
π︎ 65
π
︎ Jan 03 2023
What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?
π︎ 165
π
︎ Jan 04 2023
What do you call a Christmas wreath made with $100 bills?
π︎ 353
π
︎ Dec 22 2022
What do you call an elf who ran away from Santaβs workshop?
π︎ 194
π
︎ Dec 24 2022
What do you call a duck on drugs? π¦
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 19 2022
What do you call a Mexican with no car?
π︎ 115
π
︎ Dec 20 2022
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean Beef
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom
π︎ 135
π
︎ Dec 21 2022
I had a great teacher at my last school, called Mr Turtle.
π︎ 393
π
︎ Dec 01 2022
I started a band called 999 Megabytes.
We still havenβt gotten a gig.
π︎ 84
π
︎ Jan 02 2023
What do you call a Neanderthal without any knees?
π︎ 187
π
︎ Dec 21 2022
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby ?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer !
π︎ 918
π
︎ Nov 24 2022
what do you call a 3 hump camel?
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 15 2022
What do you call a fly with no wings?
π︎ 166
π
︎ Dec 17 2022
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
