I think there should be a summer reading program for kids urging them to read before going outside to play in the water. It could be called...

"Prose Before Hose"

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redditor_PC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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Washington Post Headline: IBM ends campaign urging women to hack hair dryers after heated blowback

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2015/12/08/ibm-ends-campaign-urging-women-to-hack-hair-dryers-after-heated-blowback/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-technology%3Ahomepage%2Fcard

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsdeadfishclub
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
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Some people relieve their sexual urge by taking matters into their own hands.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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I’m at school and I feel the urge to use the bathroom

Me: teacher can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: it’s may Me: no it’s not, it’s December

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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For me, the urge to sing β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...

...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClerSeaworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I don’t always have the urge to post song lyrics as my FB status...

But when I do, I refrain!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AreYouChi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" may come at any time

It's just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I need to talk with someone about what I should do with my urge to buy woodshop grippers...

I need vise vice advice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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At any given moment, the urge to sing, β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight”...

...is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

πŸ‘︎ 504
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
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The urge to sing 'the lion sleeps tonight'

Is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 623
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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If you ever have the urge to pee on a church roof

Urine spire-d

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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If you are watching The Lion King tonight, just remember that the urge to sing the lion sleeps tonight is just...

A whim away, a whim away a whim away a whim away a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwaway10131007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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From time to time, I have the urge to make a joke about the table of known elements...

It's just something I must do periodically.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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Accidental Dad Joke

Story time:

So over the holiday, while visiting my mom, she asked me to run and pick up some groceries she had on her shopping list. So of course, I pack up my kids and we are off to the store. As I am perusing the juice aisle, my daughter squeals, "ELSA!!!!" Sure enough, there was Elsa, on the label of a bottle of apple juice. I thought, "Apple juice is on the list and it will make my daughter happy? Boom getting it!" Fast forward to putting groceries away at my mom's house.

Mom: "Did you get everything on my list?"

Me: "Yes mom."

Mom: as I am handing her the Elsa apple juice "Oh I wanted you to get the frozen apple juice"

Me: my face shifting from a look of irritation to a stupid-cheesy smirk "That IS Frozen apple juice..."

Mom: fighting the urge to smack me while rolling her eyes "OMG."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ehrivei
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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At any given point, the urge to sing β€˜In the Jungle’ is just a whim away...

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeaners7n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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When I walked into church, I suddenly got the urge to crap.

I had to take a pew!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Sudden Urge to get Naked

(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]

This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.

My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.

Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"

Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.

After a few

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unicorn_brew
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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Ran to the bathroom today with an overwhelming urge to poop myself...

Turns out it was just a farts alarm

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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At the zoo viewing the lion exhibit, the urge to suddenly sing β€œthe lion sleeps tonight” is just a whim away...

A whim away, a whim away, a whim away!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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Some people are like rocks

Cool until you get the urge to throw them over a cliff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AfricaStar419
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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I quit smoking cold turkey a year ago

But I still get the urge to go into the fridge and light up a slice.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheshatinmyoven
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitte

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
🚨︎ report
When I was shadowing for my new school with my parents, we eventually walked into the math room, and saw a dry-erase board.

My dad couldn't resist the urge, and so, he shouted out:

"That's remarkable!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarvelGeek5321
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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I Don't Always Listen To Music By The Tokens...

...but the urge is always just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmcduff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2018
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He got me during the Lion King...

At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away.

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away......

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiplash1911
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Miners

Snow white is rummaging through things in the house when the seven dwarves urge her to stay out of a certain chest. She opens it to find it filled with booze, to which she says,

"You dwarves shouldn't be drinking! You're miners!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NitroNihon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
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At any given time...

the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is simply a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DivinePrinterGod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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Told by my professor today.

The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artyboi37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2016
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Dad joke>empathy

So I was cycling back from high school one day and I fell off my bike. Nothing major happened, just a few scratches and a torn pair of jeans. I get home and walk through the front door, and my dad is sitting in his armchair peering over his newspaper. Dad: What happened? Did you fall in a deep fryer? Me: What? No, I.. Dad: It's just you look pretty battered Me: .... Just a side-note, he did check I was fine afterwards. I guess the urge was just too strong

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumerusMedic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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Dadjoked the cashier at Wendy's

So after ordering my food, I am standing to the side waiting on my meal. The lady behind the counter looks at a few of us and says, "I'm tired." I couldn't resist the urge... I replied "Hi tired, I'm the Hash_Slingin_Slasha."
Queue simultaneous silent groan from everyone within a 20' radius.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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dad-joked at work.

I work at a law firm and called my dad. When the conversation was over my dad dad-joked me pretty well.

Me: "Well I need to get back to work and finish this brief."

Dad: "Well if you're busy I'll resist the urge to make an underwear joke."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snake_lamp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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Circus act

This guy I work with has been talking to this girl who does this erotic acrobatics stuff, and he was describing her routine to us. Another co-worker goes "That sounds like Cirque-de-Soleil." I immediately followed with, "Yeah, and Greg is going to get Cirque-de-SO-LAID!" My inner dad urges outweighed my self-control.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2015
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For me, the urge to sing β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatsorcerer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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The sudden urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shoesnotfellows
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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The urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is just

a whim away, a whim away, a whim way, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The urge to sing the lion sleeps to night is just

A whim away a whim away a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brock_a_boo22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is just

a whim away, a whim away, a whim way, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
At any given time, the urge to sing "The lion sleeps tonight"...

Is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Markvaldek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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At any point in time the urge to sing *’A Lion Sleeps Tonight’* is just a....

Whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away....

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItshaPrawn1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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At any given moment, the urge to sing, β€œThe Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away...

A whim away. A whim away...

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
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I have an urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight that's always just a whim away...

...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrasseFisk
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
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The urge to sing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' is only ever a whim away, a whim away!
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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