Did you hear about the 80s singer who was utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals?

He was AdamAnt.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anarchyinyourhead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What's the appeal in being negative all the time?

This isn't a dad joke--I really want to no.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotoriousPVC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...

Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/displaynone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The mods have a new way of improving the jokes we submit. They now add smell to all the jokes and rate them according to their odour. One mod adds some floral funniness, another tweaks them with sweet smile appeal and a third makes sure they contain a few obnoxious puns.

From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What genre of music appeals to most cheeses?

R’n’Brie

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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My wife said she never saw the appeal of Russian nesting dolls...

...I told her "it's what's on the inside that counts."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwlThinkAboutIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
You know I don't get the appeal of cross fit...

I much prefer relaxed fit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sawc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy was trying to explain the appeal of invisible ink

...but I just don't see it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I really don't understand the appeal of this popular new game everyone is talking about
πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agaeris
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What's the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?

They seem pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
In June there was a Supreme Court ruling that overturned a Department of Agriculture policy in which raisins were seized from farmers in order to maintain high prices. An appeal case was suggested that would mandate compensation for farmers who forfeited their raisins

Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dude108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2015
🚨︎ report
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?

Friederich Niche!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library

To come quietly

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket

To come clean

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?

It got wrapped up in appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OracleOfWherever
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Last week I tried an all banana diet.

I didn’t find it very appealing.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mconion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
You are the zest!

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e6/f1/11/e6f111be88dd550ec8e57724db1157db.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hakaishin1999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife: This cake does not look appealing!

I grabbed banana and started to peel in front of the cake. How about now?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/math-pro
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?

Because they have sax appeal 🎷

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerrousDerrius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The baby donkey market is not appealing to sellers

The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fat_Hydra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the banana that was found guilty?

He is currently appealing his case.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weazel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.

I told him they were my slippers.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Grocery delivery just dropped off this huge onion.

Picture of onion

I don't know what to do with it. I am going to cry.

That is so not appealing. I am left fuming. I may go into a vegetative state.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My sunburn is not appealing.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the banana that was a prosecutor?

He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Bananas are appealing
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/closet_dad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I’ve been writing a book on weight loss.

I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I like naked bananas

They are very appealing to me.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister doesn't find crab appealing

My sister was talking about sea food, how she tried crab but "didn't find it appealing."

I told her "if you're looking for appeal, you should try a banana."

She smiled while I laughed

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdrdabomb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the flirty lemon say to the tangerine?

You're so appealing!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do bananas make such great lawyers?

Because they always make such strong appeals.

(Came up with this this morning while cutting my 6mo's frozen banana up and watching the news about the impeachment trials. I'm pretty proud of it, though I may be mixing up my legal terms)

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnoobLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m really not big on fruit.

But I find bananas appealing.

I’m sorry =|

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamWize-Ganji
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call shoes made from bananas?

Slippers

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlopScratch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Old Lawyers Don't Die

They just lose their appeal

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Banannas so attractive

Because they are appealing

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlaqSunshyne-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Every. Single. Grand Prix.

Dad: What's his name, Niki...?

Me: Lauda

Dad: WHAT'S HIS NAME, NIKI...?

Sometimes I'll say it first and this has been going on for about 20 years.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TemperRory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...

Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmyd931
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
🚨︎ report
rip jack
πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetruesonix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2016
🚨︎ report
My sister just got fired from the banana factory.

She didn’t appeal to the requirements

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked a horse farmer why horses from Maine are so much more expensive.

Although more difficult to maintain, he said their manes are their main appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedasvot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time my son is eating a banana, I comment...

"Son, that looks appealing! Orange you glad you have a berry funny Dad like me? That's it, I'm plum out of jokes."

πŸ‘︎ 275
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterS42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the priest so popular?

Because he had Mass appeal.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Preston241
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I would tell a banana Joke

Nevermind it's not very appealing

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/familiarfloor6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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