Police are appealing to the man that robbed the library

To come quietly

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tiger7971
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket

To come clean

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/tiger7971
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My wife: This cake does not look appealing!

I grabbed banana and started to peel in front of the cake. How about now?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/math-pro
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The baby donkey market is not appealing to sellers

The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/The_Fat_Hydra
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My sunburn is not appealing.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/webguy1975
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Bananas are appealing
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/closet_dad
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My sister doesn't find crab appealing

My sister was talking about sea food, how she tried crab but "didn't find it appealing."

I told her "if you're looking for appeal, you should try a banana."

She smiled while I laughed

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cdrdabomb
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 19 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the 80s singer who was utterly unyielding in attitude or opinion in spite of all appeals?

He was AdamAnt.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/anarchyinyourhead
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?

Friederich Niche!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CognitiveNerd1701
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their Cows are being stolen during the night...

Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/displaynone
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What's the appeal in being negative all the time?

This isn't a dad joke--I really want to no.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NotoriousPVC
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Found out that my nanna used to compete in banana eating competitions until she was caught cheating...

... Then they had to ban nanna

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/repostssleuthbot
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The mods have a new way of improving the jokes we submit. They now add smell to all the jokes and rate them according to their odour. One mod adds some floral funniness, another tweaks them with sweet smile appeal and a third makes sure they contain a few obnoxious puns.

From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Brucemoose1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
You are the zest!

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e6/f1/11/e6f111be88dd550ec8e57724db1157db.jpg

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hakaishin1999
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why did the 3 want to hook up with the other 3?

Because of the six appeal.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 37
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SuperMario1313
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Where would the first robot rights case go?

The Short Circuit of Appeals.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BasementDweller3000
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Last week I tried an all banana diet.

I didnโ€™t find it very appealing.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mconion
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 19 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What genre of music appeals to most cheeses?

Rโ€™nโ€™Brie

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/fat-blueberry-panda
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My wife said she never saw the appeal of Russian nesting dolls...

...I told her "it's what's on the inside that counts."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OwlThinkAboutIt
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?

It got wrapped up in appeal.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 33
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OracleOfWherever
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Chordus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?

Because they have sax appeal ๐ŸŽท

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FerrousDerrius
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My friend was confused when he saw me walking around with bananas on my feet.

I told him they were my slippers.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 25
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I really don't understand the appeal of this popular new game everyone is talking about
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 143
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Agaeris
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 25 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
You know I don't get the appeal of cross fit...

I much prefer relaxed fit.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/sawc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My buddy was trying to explain the appeal of invisible ink

...but I just don't see it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 26
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nemo_sum
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 12 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What's the appeal of round-tipped knitting needles?

They seem pointless.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/nemo_sum
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01 2017
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the banana that was a prosecutor?

He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 108
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ivegot_back
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 31 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I like naked bananas

They are very appealing to me.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 29
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
In June there was a Supreme Court ruling that overturned a Department of Agriculture policy in which raisins were seized from farmers in order to maintain high prices. An appeal case was suggested that would mandate compensation for farmers who forfeited their raisins

Clarence Thomas, in response, said an appeal would be "a fruitless exercise"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/dude108
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 11 2015
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™ve been writing a book on weight loss.

I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 43
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What do you call shoes made from bananas?

Slippers

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 65
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FlopScratch
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What did the flirty lemon say to the tangerine?

You're so appealing!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/techtornado
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m really not big on fruit.

But I find bananas appealing.

Iโ€™m sorry =|

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SamWize-Ganji
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Every. Single. Grand Prix.

Dad: What's his name, Niki...?

Me: Lauda

Dad: WHAT'S HIS NAME, NIKI...?

Sometimes I'll say it first and this has been going on for about 20 years.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TemperRory
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 12 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why are Banannas so attractive

Because they are appealing

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BlaqSunshyne-
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" ford focus. Dad drops this one...

Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/jimmyd931
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 16 2013
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
rip jack
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 382
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thetruesonix
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18 2016
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Why do bananas make such great lawyers?

Because they always make such strong appeals.

(Came up with this this morning while cutting my 6mo's frozen banana up and watching the news about the impeachment trials. I'm pretty proud of it, though I may be mixing up my legal terms)

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/KnoobLord
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HornyBastard37484739
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the banana that was found guilty?

He is currently appealing his case.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Weazel
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I would tell a banana Joke

Nevermind it's not very appealing

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/familiarfloor6
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

show more
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 74
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My sister just got fired from the banana factory.

She didnโ€™t appeal to the requirements

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/samrf1202
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Every time my son is eating a banana, I comment...

"Son, that looks appealing! Orange you glad you have a berry funny Dad like me? That's it, I'm plum out of jokes."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 279
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MisterS42
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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