Phone Number Puns

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9

I asked a local girl for her number and she kept telling me it was 9 9 9.

Every one of them I ask says

999-9999

That was a Klaus call

I wonder if it was someone calling from one of those “pyramid schemes.”

Now everyone knows what to call me by.

867-5309

🎶Jeennny I got your number, I’m gonna make you miinne🎶

Now it's Hans free.

You’ll need to use glasses then, since you lost your contacts.

when will they invent a phone where you can sleep with contacts in

Dad: What?! How can you not know grandma's phone number?

Daughter: I don't know, I don't call her enough I guess. Can you give it to me?

Dad: Okay, let me look it up...

-Just heard behind me

Now it's a pick-up lime

Friend: "Hey! Let's maybe hang out this week?"

Me: "Sorry, do I know you?"

Friend: "Are you being serious?"

Me: "The number looks familiar..."

Friend: "Ahhhh, did you lose your contacts?"

Me: "No, I wear glasses."

My wife and I changed cell carriers, so we have new temporary numbers but when the caller ID comes up, both numbers my name because I set up the account. She called me today...

> Me: Oh my name comes up when you call on the caller id > > Her: You'll have to change that > > Me: Yeah I'll have to fix your faux number

(blank stare)