Some people were arguing about the most important part of a kitchen.

"The sink is the most important! It's where you get water for cooking, wash your hands, clean fruits and vegetables, and clean the dishes up afterwards."

But another person said,

"The countertop is even more important. It's where the food is prepared. And if the counter weren't there, you wouldn't have a sink at all!"

The first person was shocked. They weren't expecting a counterargument.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TabCompletion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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A mouse found his wife cheating on him, and when they were arguing, he said

Ricotta get through this

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajokerfromengland
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Two guys were arguing. One of them had only a left hand and one had only a right hand.

After a while, the left handed guy realized that the other guy was right, so he left.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes

"I artichoke you for that"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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Barbie and Ken are continually arguing over who will empty the dishwasher. One day, Ken says "Barbie, I've unloaded the dishwasher every day this week.. can you PLEASE do it just this once?"

..."No, Ken do"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadaddy-o
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Two grammarians were arguing;

it was a case of a tense mood engendering a number of negative aspects.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

The Opportunist.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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I was arguing with my dad about how median is the best average.

He just doesn't agree with me. I think he is a very mean person.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call two people arguing in a sauna?

A heated debate

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VileTouch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Last night I was arguing to my wife about who should keep our children in the divorce and I got angry and threw some trifle at her

She ended up getting custardy

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B0bby_j3Ff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.

He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilverStoneX1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A cannibalistic tribe was arguing about which person they should eat first...

...when a frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butterymix
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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My boys were arguing about who would get to drive the go-kart around the track...

I told them, "You guys should take turns".

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I hate arguing with blind man

I can never understand their point of view

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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3 Cannibals were arguing over how to eat a missionary they captured.

Cannibal 1: We should boil him!

Cannibal 2: We should roast him on a spit!

Cannibal 3: No! Can’t you see he’s a Friar?!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKoke
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.

Repeatedly shouting β€œLet that sink in!”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.

We're all in the same oat.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dodsdans
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Just yesterday, daughter was arguing over dishes.

I told her she didn't have to open that can of worms, and we wouldn't be trying to de-bait now.

I walked away laughing, and daughter face palming.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goalie_deacon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body

1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity

2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one

3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstharothaZe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Arguing over current events is perfectly natural, but there’s a time and a place.

It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimgolgari
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Tall guy and a short guy were arguing

They just couldn’t see eye to eye

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Yesterday at the circus I saw two fire breathers arguing.

I guess they were having a heated discussion.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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My wife and I were arguing about who had the worse job

and as the owner of a pastry store, the shoplifters really took the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myothiuf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
my midget friend and i are always arguing

i guess we just don’t see eye to eye

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/littlebitch69420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
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My wife and I were arguing about which vowel was most important.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A Russian couple is arguing about the weather.

One says it is raining, the other says it is simply a mist.

To settle their dispute, they stop and ask a guard outside the Kremlin for his opinion.

"Rudolph, please help us with this disagreement! Is it raining, or not?"

Rudolph replies, "It is raining."

"I knew we could depend on you, Comrade. You see," he says to his partner, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finestjuggler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Dad: Are you and your girlfriend arguing over whether to call each other bae...

Or debaeting?

πŸ‘︎ 524
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trumpeter1112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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My wife and I were up all night arguing over who is doing all the laundry.

At 2AM, I folded.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stilsjx
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Arguing with my friend about taking chances at prom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JanniStan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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If two snakes are arguing ...

do they have a sibilants rivalry?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FHL88Work
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Last Thanksgiving, my mother told me "If your brothers start arguing, don't take sides"

Sure enough, they yelled at each other and I could only have turkey

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youngblood519
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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My son was arguing about taking a nap

So I yelled at him that he was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j0be
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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A plumber and a contractor were arguing about something in a huge box.

The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTLazar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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My wife and I were arguing on an airplane. She was trying to convince me to join the mile high club...

I told her,

"I'm sorry, but I don't give a flying fuck."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugle_Boy_Jeans
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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What do you call it when Vladimir Putin is arguing with someone?

Disputin.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazisonmoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Two of my friends in chem class were arguing.

I guess they don’t have good chemistry.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electricalboss630
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
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I’ve been arguing with my friend about whether Electro is a DC villain

My friend is convinced that he’s direct current, but I think that his power uses alternating current instead

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom walked in on me arguing about sizes...

I was only mass-debating.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Arguing with your wife is like reading a software license agreement. In the end...

...you ignore it all and click, "I agree"!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement

In the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement...

...in the end, I ignore it all and click "I agree."

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report

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