I'm inviting everyone to join me in a thought-session of Stephen King's iconic shape-shifting clown.
Why do British people display such an inviting behaviour?
Because they add U to everything
I tried to cheer my buddy up by inviting him to a poker night after cows broke into his marijuana store and ate all his product, but he couldn’t come.
He said that the steaks were too high.
My aunt has been inviting several unmarried female friends over to study the Bible and pray a few times a week.
I told her not to make it a habit.
Which is the most inviting spice?
South Korea is so much more inviting than North Korea.
North Korea is a Seoulless place.
Inviting parents to my graduation...
Me: Are you two coming to my graduation?
Dad: I don't know if Bono can make it...
I didn't even think he knew who U2 was...
Why was a mushroom invited to a party?
I invited my hot date to the gym for a training session, but she didn't show up.
That's when I knew that we weren't going to work out.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?
I went to The Weeknd's concert. He invited me onstage to sing the chorus to one of his songs!
But there were so many stage lights turned towards me that…
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights.
Just been invited to the drummers convention.
He never bit on the burger invite...
A girl invited me to have sex on her Honda Civic
But i like to have sex on my own Accord
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited us for a party afterwards.
It was the Father, the Son, and the Goalie host.
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
Why wasn't the scuba diver invited to the company's executive beach party?
Because he was below C-level.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
Why did the fruits invite the mushroom as chief guest for their party?
Cause he seemed like a "fun-gi"
Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties?
Because they’re all fungi’s
Why Did the Anthropologist Get Invited to Every Fancy Dinner?
Turns out he was a man of culture.
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
Tsunami invited Cyclone ,Earthquake and Drought to a tea party.
Nobody came.
Tsunami had a silent tea.
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.
It's an exclusive member ship.
My friends invited me to do drugs on the docks
The Pier pressure is heavy
For my birthday in mid-January, I invited a few friends over to a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units inhabited primarily by impoverished persons.
It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person
I always thought he was only a theoretical physicist...
A friend invited me to his house for a party
When I arrived, his house was on fire. Damn, the party must be lit.
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party
They quickly became the centaur of attention
I'd invite Terry to the Halloween party, but I think he'll be terryfied
I know, I know, that was Terryble
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.
We had a party for our office supplies today. We even invited the invisible ink.
My friend invited me over for dumplings this weekend.
I told her don’t worry about it, I know it’s a lot of wok.
My buddy invited me to go fishing with him.
But when he told me the fish were biting I said, “heck no!”
I sent an invitation to 40 of my German friends to come to my wedding
“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Jeffery Dahmer invites me to his home
He said “I could make you dinner!”
We love Indian food
Decided to cook our Chicken Korma recipe with potatoes, onions, etc. in our InstaPot. It was Instant Korma.
What did the Helium say when he was invited to the party?
He didn't have a reaction.
I was once invited to a poker game in the ocean.
I didn’t go though, sounded kind of fishy.
You should never invite big cats to a games night
They are dirty cheetahs, and if they deny they are, they are lion
I woke up yesterday to find that my wife had invited a bunch of journalists from Paris to help make breakfast..
I didn't mind. I love coffee from the French Press.
What did the tree say when he was invited to a party
Simon is in the school play and invites his parents, who don't think he'll be very good.
Halfway through the play, a floorboard breaks underneath Simon and he falls through. 'Don't worry' Simon's dad whispers to his mum 'it's just a stage he's going through!'
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s team won the tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us to a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
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