I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.
Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
“Currently”
Lemon-aid
“Sir, you gave me an extra!” he says. The beekeeper replies “Oh, that’s a freebie”
So he gives it to her.
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
The beekeeper replies: "Sure, and I'll throw in the 13th as a freebie..."
I told him it’s Naan of his business
Edit: he could have replied “papa dumb”
She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.
So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"
"...mountains peak!"
The guy says "no, just the one"
I told her if they forgot the cheese again, it wouldn’t end very Gouda for them!
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
Because they always leave you hanging.
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
Dad: To avoid such questions!
...does that make them your Spirit Guide?
The Bartender says “Sorry. We don’t serve spirits”
Bach.
They always reply by saying, "I wood".
Because they live under the rock.
I said, “I’m taking Advil before Aleeve”
They are a bunch of neigh sayers.
Bells alright? Asks the barman. None of your fucking business he replies.
he was in de Nile
The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
Well, well, well.
So I told Her,"No.I'm half German and half Irish."
“Cardamom”
The lab clerk says “I thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”
Gnochh yourself out!
Bartender says: that’ll be $20.20
The man behind the counter says, "No, change must come from within".
I just can't help myself.
I told my wife "That cat would have way more grip on roof shingles and I expect more I realism from talking cartoon cows. This is "UDDERLY" ridiculous."
She may have buried her head and avoided eye contact for a bit. I was proud.
It’s his 32nd birthday.
I gotta hand it to him, he knows how to fix a car
The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."
A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.
The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."
A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.
The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"
Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.
"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"
"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."
"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."
"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"
The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"
The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.
Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
Slap them and say "Here's your change"
the barman replies "for you, no charge".
