Currently writing a screenplay for a show called Pun: The Musical.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jul 31 2020
I'm writing a new Broadway show called "Puns"
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 25 2015
I just called GameStop Customer Service...
They asked me to please Hold. ππ€²
ποΈ 19k
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οΈ Feb 03 2021
Why are priests called father?
because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
ποΈ 329
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οΈ Apr 09 2021
I've opened a restaurant called "Peace And Quiet."
ποΈ 492
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οΈ Mar 23 2021
I was confused as to how much lettuce to buy from the grocery store, so I called my wife.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
ποΈ 360
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οΈ Mar 31 2021
It should be called Yeaster.
ποΈ 264
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οΈ Apr 06 2021
Whatβs a small mosque in Tijuana called?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Apr 05 2021
Why are Pirates called Pirates?
ποΈ 53
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οΈ Mar 30 2021
Our doorbell rang and my son called to me, "Dad, there's a salesman here with a mustache!" I yelled back...
"Tell him I've already got one!"
ποΈ 183
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οΈ Mar 20 2021
Reddit coins should be called Creddit
ποΈ 34
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οΈ Mar 23 2021
What is a bee in doubt called?
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Apr 08 2021
Why was Darth Vader called "Lord Vader"?
Because "Master Vader" made the storm troopers giggle.
ποΈ 70
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οΈ Apr 06 2021
My mates and I are in a band called "Duvet".
ποΈ 93
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
I wrote this story called 404.
I lost it and I couldn't find it.
(if this has been done before sorry, I just randomly thought of this)
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Apr 13 2021
I've never put my meat there before but I've been called adventurous...
imgur.com/rxy4LtB
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 08 2021
They really mis-named the superhero called "Ant-man"
He should really be called Uncle.
Can't really take credit, my nieces made the joke while watching the movie. Regionally "Aunt" is pronounced as "ant"
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Apr 10 2021
My son video called me this morning
He said βDad, couldnβt you have given me a better name then video?β
ποΈ 67
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οΈ Mar 21 2021
I always called it the βfast nutβ but okay
ποΈ 21
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οΈ Mar 26 2021
What is it called when a writer is sick of writing?
ποΈ 14
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οΈ Apr 08 2021
Yesterday I went to the theater to see a show called βThe Dictionaryβ.
ποΈ 17
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οΈ Mar 28 2021
My wife called me a sex machine
Well, her exact words were, βYouβre a fucking toolβ but I knew what she meant.
ποΈ 174
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οΈ Mar 03 2021
I put on 30 jackets all on top of each other. Someone called and asked if I was coming out, I said sorry I canβt...
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Apr 02 2021
My friend called me in a panic and shouted, βAn evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I donβt know what to do!β Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out...
...heβs really a big lyre.
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Apr 02 2021
I used to be in a band called 'Missing cat'
You probably saw our posters
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Apr 15 2021
What's it called when your mothers sister is upset?
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 12 2021
So I was talking to my mom at dinner, and she was saying how she talked to her friend right before, so she told me βI called Ryan earlier...β
Confused, I said βWhyβd you call him earlier when his nameβs Ryan??β
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Apr 16 2021
I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
ποΈ 113
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οΈ Mar 18 2021
If Hitler created a video game, what would it be called?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 16 2021
In a world where people with superpowers make up 1% of the world population, people with two make up 1% of that 1%. These people born with two superhuman abilities are called squares.
Squares are raised to a second power.
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Mar 29 2021
Some guy just called me a 'Tool'.
So, I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
ποΈ 259
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οΈ Feb 21 2021
A soldier is called in to speak to a sergeant...
The sergeant says: "I didn't see you today in the camouflage test"
"That's the idea, Sergeant"
ποΈ 12
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οΈ Apr 07 2021
One of these days HR is gonna get called...
Talking amongst the office about current events and the Matt Gaetz scandal came up.
Coworker "An older guy in power taking advantage of young women? That's a tale as old as time..."
Me "From what I've seen the tail wasn't even 18..."
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Apr 14 2021
A group of kids is called.....
ποΈ 53
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οΈ Feb 27 2021
A secret society of pranksters is called illuminaughty
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Mar 20 2021
To understand this pun you need to know that the book in the first photo is called Apolodor
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Feb 26 2021
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
ποΈ 995
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οΈ Dec 30 2020
What is sun tzuβs cookbook called?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Mar 23 2021
I'm going to tell my kids that farting is called...
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Apr 05 2021
Why was the character from Adventure Time called Flame Princess and not...
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Apr 08 2021
What do you called back strap cooked in the oven with a cbd oil glaze?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Apr 14 2021
Yesterday, my friend was called an octopus cube.
You can probably guess he was aghast.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Mar 11 2021
Somebody just called me average.
ποΈ 144
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οΈ Feb 09 2021
Started a band called 999 megaybtes
We still havent gotten a gig
ποΈ 126
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οΈ Jan 29 2021
Why were the police called to McDonalds?
The place got burger-larized!
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Mar 14 2021
My math teacher called me average...
ποΈ 13k
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οΈ Oct 04 2020
I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
ποΈ 4k
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οΈ Oct 24 2020
I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.
She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."
ποΈ 35
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οΈ Mar 19 2021
I started a band called "Blanket"
ποΈ 94
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οΈ Jan 31 2021
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