What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
Itenticle.
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A Civil Serpent.
What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others?
Moose so leany.
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
A minor inconvenience
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
Elongate
What do you call it when you accidentally miss the exit for your camp ground?
Past-tents
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?
The Coup Klux Klan
What do you call the money your garbage business earns?
Gross revenue
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
Annette
What do you call the wife of a hippy?
Mississippi
What do you call a man from the Netherlands who is also flying on a airplane?
The Flying Dutchman
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
Copies.
What do you call someone that studies the science of wish granting?
A genie-ologist.
What do you call the wife of an elephant’s mother’s brother?
Eleph-aunt
PornHub should call their intro music the "Smash-ional Anthem"
What do you call the crew of a rocket launch that gets cancelled?
Astronots
What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again
DJ vu
What do you call an apple that falls far from the tree?
An outcider...
What did the PB&J addict call his sandwiches?
My jammy vice.
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
Investigator
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
A sighclops.
What do they call baby fish going through the change of life?
Minnow pause?
What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do you call a sorceress that lives on the beach?
A sandwitch
What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs standing in the windowsill?
...Curt & Rod
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm ?
The CIEIO
my son introduced me to dark humor the other day, i don't know why they call it "dark humor"
because they lighten me up
What do you call a man obsessed with the moon?
A lunar-tic.
What do you call the 2nd richest man, when he moves to Mexico?
Jeff Pesos.
What do you call it when all the cows the dairy farm go mad?
Udder Chaos
What did scientists call the shovel when it was first created?
A ground-breaking discovery
What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?
Aurora Borealis
What do you call a porta-potty that’s bigger on the inside?
A turdis.
What do you call the section of hospital dedicated to squid?
Squidward
What do you call the Mini-Me of your mother?
Minimum
What do you call the chief of an ancient Amazonian tribe?
Amazon Prime
What did the janitor call the tools he didn't trust?
SUSpplies
(courtesy of my 9 y. o. )
What do you call a little person psychic on the run from the cops?
A small medium at large
What do you call an insect that's in trouble with the law?
A defend-ant
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
