And so Sam sung note 7
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldenpike
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.

Does that mean I have frozen assets or cold hard cash?

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgnosticIce6482
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."

I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-

I was pretty sure that he Cayman left

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotterMessi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit Β£10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..

β€œLike Β£10 notes” I told him

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?

Probably not, they've never had a hit.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotFuture
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What's a pirate's favorite note?

The high C, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westtxfun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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A midget was in my office applying for a job. He humbly noted all the benefits of his stature regarding the job.

I still think he was selling himself short.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Virtual-Prime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I got my son a PS5 like he wanted... the note read...

Dear son,

Merry Christmas!

PS: do your homework.

PPS: do your chores.

PPPS: go outside and play and stop playing video games

PPPPS: you're a fatboy, fattie. You eat too much crap food.

PPPPPS: we're shipping you off to military school next year!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I went to the opticians yesterday and she asked to sing a high note when I asked why, she told me

β€œSo we know if you can C#”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brian_mayonnaise
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."

I opened it and it works fine.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying "this isn't working, bye"

I opened it up and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Microsoft note-d
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Someone keyed a music note into my car

The damage appears to B Minor

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.

A flat miner

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A note on a music teacher's door read:

Gone Chopin, Bach in a minuet

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
As I was walking down the street, I noted a man with a large pole in his hand and stopped to ask, "Are you a pole-vaulter?"

His response was, "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, β€œIt’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”

I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to rate our solar system...

I'd give it one star.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabereyn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me to buy post it notes because we were out...

I told her to write it on a sticky note so I'd remember

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeNoR_LoCo_PoCo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.

Sadly I was defeated.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
well on that note
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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I saw a radio the other day on sale for $1. It had a note stuck on it saying, β€œVolume stuck on full”

I though, β€œI can’t turn that down”

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wepehe
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Just dropping a short note to all at r/dadjokes

... Staccato

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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I bellowed with laughter
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My partner is having a bad day at work, so I thought I would draw his favorite animal with a cute note.
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjmeoow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When L died on Death Note,

My eyes became very Watari, because I knew the end was Near.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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Death note.....
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/givinhi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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I saw I was running low on stickers at work so I made a note of it.
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vt8919
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought that maybe I had a talent for music, so I tried to learn...

But I can't read sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tydram
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a pirates favourite musical note?

The high C.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimjobsarentbad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
if you're stealing someone's music you're taking notes
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maxisrichtofen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a T-rex take notes?

Using shorthand

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_messiah
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Well on that note
πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TyRoland06
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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Murray Christmas Everyone!!! (Side note- I don't take credit for this, but it's too great not to share)
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tchskippy25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my Microsoft office licence ,I will find you

You have my word

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I came up with a joke about accidental notes.

I thought it was really sharp, but I told my friends, and it just fell flat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sammiedontsurf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Accidentally parked in a 'reserved for witches' spot.

When I got back there was a note on my windshield that said "you will be toad."

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prettiestvirgin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home and saw a note from my wife stuck on the fridge: β€œI’m sorry. This isn’t working. You take things too literally. Goodbye.”

She will be so happy when she finds out I ordered a new one.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
and no one notes why...
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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It's a note worthy one, don't u think?
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amitlion2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A true story

So, I’m standing outside my office building with my older, wiser coworker, when he points up at a flock of geese flying in a V.

Me: [looks at the geese coworker is pointing to]

Coworker: β€œyou notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?”

Me: β€œyeah”

Coworker: β€œdo you know why that is?”

Me: β€œhmm... no”

Coworker: β€œthere’s more birds on that side”

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sensitive-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A cop left a nice note on my windshield to let me know I'd parked my car correctly...

It said "Parking Fine"

πŸ‘︎ 834
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife wrote me a note about the dimensions of her dresser.

It was very deep.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Tech reviewers are just waiting for Samsung to release a mediocre new Note device just to say "It's not noteworthy"
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakt_adolf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'

I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend left a note on my fridge this morning saying "this isn't working, bye"

I opened it up and it was working fine, so I'll just wait till she's home to ask her what she meant.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wteyart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost my notes I was writing for my book called "1,001 ways to cure an itch."

Guess I'll have to start from scratch.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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