Vest ever pun
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My therapist says that I second guess every decision that I ever make.

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OMMOPOWER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Never ever spell part backwards,

It's a trap.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cptn-Cardinal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….

EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❀️

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off

Then you will de-feet him

πŸ‘︎ 113
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OJAMZ23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery?

You don’t know what you’re missing

πŸ‘︎ 312
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?

Exactly. Because they're damn good at it!

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEvilSunBro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten. reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Will glass coffins ever be popular?
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevjonesin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Will glass coffins ever be popular?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly

Because communication is key

Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chizhi1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Has anyone actually ever seen Big Foot?

Not Yeti.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I've had the most emotional cake day ever

It was in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 251
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DamnRedhead
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
You ever wonder

if homeless people tell knock-knock jokes?

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Edwardhunts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"

I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"

πŸ‘︎ 494
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WardensLantern
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever wanted to contact a dead Italian ?

Use a Luigi board.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees

because they are really good at it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sparty1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?

Probably not, they've never had a hit.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dotFuture
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell the story of the time I went to the seafood disco?

I pulled a mussel.

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gooballs1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ant colonies ever get sick?

.... because they’re full of anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Finneagan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss just told me that I’m the worst mailman he has ever seen.

Shit..l meant to post this somewhere else.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A fisherman came to me telling me he had just reeled in the biggest fish hes ever seen, and that he was going to give it to me for free.

I asked him, 'whats the catch?'

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpookyMemeBoy5001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever thought about farming?

You too, could be out standing in your field!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BootsGunnderson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever hear of Henry, Santa's brown nosed reindeer?

He is just as fast as Rodolph but couldn't stop as quickly.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn’t you ever fight a dinosaur?

You’ll just get Jurasskicked.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikehiler2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the best thing to ever come from Oklahoma?

I-35 South.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WCBrann
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys! I came up with the most offensive joke ever!

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeHeHaHaHaHyena
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever heard about the woman who only did rap battles, when she was on her menstrual period?

They said she had a mean flow.....

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TPew1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Anyone ever wonder why dads have so many great jokes?

We have a dad-abase full of them.

πŸ‘︎ 278
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrunchyBrisket
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Don't ever try to explain drones to the elderly

It just goes right over their heads

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Being a parent is hard - my son won't ever let me have a good night's sleep; so when my wife came home the other day and asked why I was so red...

I told her I was just completely sunburnt

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_lp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever stop and think about how your car muffler reduces engine noise?

It's baffling.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapNBall1851
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Today, my wife apologized to me for the first time ever. She said...

...she’s sorry she ever married me.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
About the Ever Given cargo ship...

I smell a huge law-Suez.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ixfd64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
No one will ever make a successful video game about running a coffee shop.

Gamers would never put up with the amount of grinding required.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't the bike ever get up on time?

Two tired.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realtjmusic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the captain of the Ever Given say when the ship ran aground?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BibliosaurusLex
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
You guys ever notice how there's no vampires in Africa?

Well, from what I know about Vampires, Holy Water can kill them, and from what I've heard they bless the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Omega21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever wandered why it takes the President so long to complete a sentence when he speaks?

I guess he’s just Biden his time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Play2Win1776
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skidzle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever heard the plot to the movie β€œCars”?

SPOILER ALERT

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BesottedCoot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t photons ever need help with their luggage?

They’re traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hardcoredad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.

She wants you to be more Roman-tic.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you the hammer in my garage knows a dance?

It's mallet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss said to me, β€œYou are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”

I said, β€œI’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

πŸ‘︎ 642
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aromipesa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in palm trees?

They’re good at it.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmic_Fox_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Will glass coffins ever become popular?

Remains to be seen

πŸ‘︎ 375
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.