You know the first french fries, wasnt actually cooked in France but in Greece...😂
My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.
but who am I kidding?
Driving with Dad listening to some pop music station. Meghan Trainor comes on the radio.
Dad: "Hey did you know that Muslims love Meghan Trainor?"
Me: How do you know that?
Dad: "I just heard they're Allah bout that bass."
>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work? > At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!
I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture.... >Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work? > At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!
Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...
For the record, my dad didn't say any of these. Also, they get kind of weird near the end.
My vacuum sucks, or, rather, doesn't suck.
That drawing looks sketchy. Something about it looks... shady.
Lightbulb is a smart guy. Some might even say he's bright.
"Mmm, cheesy" he says as he takes the macaroni out of the oven.
When entering a planetarium, my father mentioned how he'd like some cookies with his Milky Way.
Oreolas = cookie nipples (Couldn't really think of a way to set this one up that didn't make it even more awkward.)
"Underwear? Under there?" My dad mentioned as he put his pants away.
Edit: If you've any others, share them in the comments!
Driving through Groton, VT and my dad says "lets stop for some potatoes au groton (like au gratin)." then he laughed for 15 minutes
Me: "Yea, it was intense"
Dad: "Like the indians..." flahes goofy smile in anticipation for laughs
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
But when I got home all the signs were there
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
Those were goodyears
It's a faux pa.
A-TEN-SON!
When it leaves and never comes back
As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Who’s there?
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
A dad joke.
(Credit: my daughter)
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
It becomes tearable
When it becomes apparent.
Credit: My team scrum master.
Me: "But you already own her home."
Dad: -turning to daughter- "If you don't sleep with him, I will."
Credit to u/psybermonkey15
His “first wife”
(They’ve been married 43 years)
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
Is what the mailman keeps telling my son.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
When it becomes apparent.
When it become apparent.
