Fritos.
Geddit?
So I wanted to learn puns, but I didn't find any good discord server where you could meat with people and practice or learn new puns, so I decided to create such a server where we can all hopefully learn how to pun. If you would like to join here's a link: https://discord.gg/hVBqM7hn9r
Hopefully this is the right place for it - but I'm looking to create a wedding hashtag with our future last names. So far, we only have 'pining for macalpine' but, as someone pointed out, that has a rather negative connotation. Unfortunately, our first names don't lend to puns/rhymes.
Any alp would be appreciated.
To pun-ish him
i am the most clueless person in the world when it comes to puns, but i want a really clever one for the back of my shirt for my high school powderpuff game. my name is maddie, they won’t allow any super inappropriate innuendos, and it has to be no more than 12 characters. all suggestions are appreciated!!! thanks y’all!!
He says it's hard learning to pun when he can't even walk.
Is this a trick question?
C
... and as you can see, they were Wright
But when I got home all the signs were there
He just didn’t cut it.
I have a hunch it might be me.
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”
It was only collecting dust.
“This takes me back.”
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again 🤔
Riceless
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Nothing, it's on the house.
Because he was 2 squared.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
...an ether/oar situation...
It was too time consuming.
“I play a little guitar!"
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
I really have to make it count
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Geddit?
