Missing Toe Puns

Guess I Lack toes and Tolerant

Lack-toes-intolerant

You might even say I'm...lack toes intolerant.

(Is this a dad joke? The gf is pretty baby crazy lately and i dont know if im ready yet)

lacktoes intolerant

He's lack-toes intolerant

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

Daughter was born 8/17/15 (first child). When they put her in mom's arms we were both tearful. I counted her finger and toes then I touched her little ear... she suddenly winced at that and without missing a beat I said "oh no...sorry to earitate you." It was so natural.

An engaged couple was walking along the beach. The woman looked down and discovered her fiance was missing some of his toes. She stopped and said "I'm sorry, I can't marry you" When the man asked why she said, "I'm lactose intolerant"

I asked my son (3) what he was eating, and he says "Ed a mommy" (Edamame).

I of course respond with "No, that's da mommy!" and point to my wife.

That was terrible, So I set up a much better one. I told my wife that our friend Kevin had recently had a girlfriend, but he broke up with her when he found out she was missing three toes. She was shocked that Kevin would be so shallow.

I told her, "Didn't you know Kevin was Lack Toes Intolerant?" The kids did not understand why we were laughing so hard. I think my wife wanted to throw something at me.

I love terrible jokes.

Because I'm lack toes intolerant