Misses Puns

But her aim is getting better!

I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!!

(gravity falls, anyone?)

Christian Bail

Chawkeye.

Now it's only inside jokes

Would you say they go religiously?

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! (Might be a repost. Just found it funny rewatching Gravity Falls)

...do they get back pay?

Chemistry

(comment about something to do with hearing loss)

My dad "huh?"

He's been doing it my entire life and I still occasionally repeat what I said.

...I told her I've never been somewhere without me, but I'm sure it's absolutely terrible.

So, my dad could be considered a regular jokester. He had his dad jokes, his dirty jokes, clean but provocative joke, setup jokes, everything. He never missed a chance to turn something into a joke for hinself, even, and perpahs especially, if it only amused himself. I found out at an young age that no situation is too serious for him.

I was around 9 years old and I was in the cub scouts, and it was box car derby season. I was in the dining room, carving away at my block of wood when the blade in my right hand skipped the wood and carved my left thumb. It fucking hurt and bled like a sonofabitch. I immediately starting screaming and my dad raced into the room and found me covered in blood, my left hand now with two thumbs. We get it wrapped and he drives me to the emergency room. By the time we got there the bleeding had stopped and I have stopped crying. As we pull up, my dad looks st me, shakes his head and says "We can't go in there like this, we'll end up waiting forever to see a doctor. You need to cry once we're in there and that'll help" I said ok, and he said as we were walking up, "I'll give you a signal to start crying." How will i know, i asked him snd he just said i'll know. We go inside and walk up to the admittance desk. I'm short, so at the time my head just cleared the desk. My dad tells the nurse that we have a cut, and need to see a doctor right away. The nurse pushes paperwork at him and he tells her again, this time that its a real bad cut. The nurse finally looks at me for the first time and she frowns, because im relatively normal looking, even though im hurting and nervous, waiting for my dads signal. My dad pulls me back a bit and her eyes widen really big when she sees all the dried blood caked on the lower left side of my body. She starts getting excited and says "Ohmygoshohmygosh" over and over and this point im starting to get scared when my Dad, in a serious voice says "Its even worse than it looks! You're going to have to take the whole hand!"

Then I start crying.

So my little brother asked me to do him a solid (a favor for those who don't know) and get him a Coke, and without missing a beat, from his bedroom, my dad yells: "once you do that for your brother, mind doing me a liquid?", followed by giggling and shame.

My roommate's girlfriend is currently participating in a study abroad program in Seoul, SK. She had posted something to my Facebook wall and my dad asked me over the phone what she is doing overseas. I told him and he asked what she studies. I said international affairs and without skipping a beat he said "Ah, I see: Boyfriend here, boyfriend there..."

My mom is a recovering stroke victim and walked with one of those four-pronged canes. she came inside and realized on of the rubber pad things fell off the cane in the yard. I ran outside to find it. When I came back in, I yelled "I found the rubber!" To which my father replied "Good. We wouldn't want her having unprotected steps!"

Buh-dum chhh!

My fiancee knocked on to the floor at a friends house, a single slice cake we had got from Smith's; comes packaged in a small, square plastic container, and was still in the container when it hit the carpet. I still proceeded to give her a hard time saying she did it on purpose, etc. As she reached over to pick it up she accidentally dipped her shirt on to the top of a caramel covered brownie she was eating. She sat back up and noticed the caramel circle covering the nipple of her shirt, and without second thought cries, "Aww man, caramel's a bitch."

She asked if I made the bed but I told her I'm not a bloody carpenter!

Dad: What do you want for dinner?

Me: Can you make me some hot dogs?

Dad: POOF! you're some hot dogs.

Whenever we walk by a Synagogue or Jewish owned business he says "Hey are you guys circumcised?" reminding us that we have to be in order to enter

But their aim is starting to improve

But her aim is getting better

but her aim is getting better

But her aim is getting better!

But her aim is getting better!,

But her aim keeps getting better.

But her aim is getting better!

But her aim is starting to improve

But her aim is getting better!

But her aim is starting to improve.

But her aim is getting better.

But her aim is getting better!

But Her Aim Is Getting Better

But her aim is getting better

But her aim is getting better

But her aim is getting better!

but her AIMS getting better.

But her aim is getting better.

BUT HER AIM IS GETTIN BETTER!

BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER

But her aim is getting better!