What do you call the Greek God of regret?
I have my regrets about today...
Even the cake is in tiers!
Decided to help my friend restring his guitar, I have no regrets
If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes.
But that's Heinz sight for you.
I regret not staying up last night for New Years
But you know what they say hindsight is 2020.
My Son asked me if I had any regrets over the really expensive neck brace I bought...
Can honestly say I've never looked back
When you ask google assistant for a pun and you instantly regret it
My brother regrets many things in life but mostly he regrets not ever having a wild time before settling down and having kids.
I regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with.
But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas
I have some deep-seated regret for covering my organs in gold.
I have internalized gilt.
I regret every decision I’ve made that’s led to this moment.
I really regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes last night...
that's Heinz sight for you.
I regret not getting the 20 oz porterhouse at the restaurant
It was a big missed steak
I regret wiping my eyes with ketchup on my hands.
But that's Heinz sight for ya.
My boss accused me of stealing, and fired me from my job at the furniture store. But I regret nothing.
Sometimes you have to take a stand.
I doodled at school. I regret nothing.
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
Was on a date, made the joke, no regrets
We were walking down the street and I saw the upcoming intersection was "Fairwell Ave."
When we reached the crosswalk, I said I should head home, and then followed up with, "I guess this is farewell."
Eyes rolled but it was worth it.
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,
as I can no longer make hens meet!
Why did the former doctor regret becoming a prosecutor?
His new job was trying his patients.
Goats don't instinctively know, and have to find out for themselves, that if you sleep with a jackass, mule regret it.
I might regret introducing my father to Reddit
A few days ago, my dad (who is a recent Reddit convert) and I were watching "American Hustle" and in the middle of the movie, Christian Bale's character opens up a safe at one of his dry cleaning businesses.
Dad taps me on the shoulder, leans over and says:
He immediately began cackling as I groaned.
My buddy quit his job as an air traffic controller to become a monk, and now regrets it.
It’s like he got out of flying plans and into the friar.
I regret buying a boomerang with teeth on my recent trip to Australia.
You will regret going vegan.
It's a huge missed steak.
I regret asking my wife why she’s buying a giant tub of whiteout from the store.
I regret working at a German sausage company
It was the wurst decision of my life.
Why did he NSA whistleblower regret moving to Russia?
He was always snowed in/Snowden
I regret trying to patent a giant boomerang with teeth.
It came back to bite me in a big way.
I regret not naming my baby Richard.
I could've been sending Dick pics all the time.
I entered a pull-up competition and I regret it.
The bar was set pretty high.
(I came up with this joke, though I would not be surprised if this, or a variant of the joke was on this sub.)
I really regret not watching a certain TV show in the 80's.....
......I guess I'm just experiencing Macguyver's guilt.
I regret nothing
I've repeatedly told people that I regret nothing... Although in hindsight i dont know if that was the smartest choice
Sometimes I regret picking to study History alongside English at University.
My degree would have been completely lit.
Sure I regret letting my dick pics get out there on the internet...
...but I guess that's just my crotch to bare.
Do you ever think back to child hood and regret not make enough puns? For example: (History) Vladamir Putin more than halved the poverty rate during his first term.
(Under breath but loud enough that everyone can hear) guess he was really Puttin some work in
Dadjoked a friend at a funeral--I Regret Nothing
At a funeral reception recently a friend of mine grabbed a cucumber, honeydew appetizer. I remarked: "are those for the melancholy????". (Un)fortunately I was not forcibly removed from the reception; I showed myself out.