I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"
Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.
When I die I‘m expecting lots of crying, lots of wailing, genuine sadness.
As I was cleaning the dirtiest swimming pool ever, people looked at me with sadness in their eyes...
I'm just a pool boy, I need no sympathy.
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
It’s kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
It’s sad the neighborhood went down the crapper
What is it called when everything in your spice cabinet is sad?
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
What do you call a sad straw berry
Sometimes Sundays are really sad, but I noticed today that they are never the saddest of the week
The day before is always a sadder day
My Son came up to me this morning and said "Don't be sad".
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
When I get sad, I like to get on an elevator. I find it very uplifting.
What was the sad teenager listening to while they were forced to do yard work?
Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
Why are guitars always so sad?
Because they’re always getting picked on
What do you call a sad flower?
Sadly, Aquaman was never able to finish college.
All his grades were below C level.
I started to pet my cat as he was sad.
After that, he was feline better.
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."
"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.
Why was the sea anemone sad?
Because he'd rather see a friend.
Why was the dog sad?
His girlfriend was a bitch!
What do you call a sad frog?
Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.
From my 5 year old mind: “Why is trash always sad ?”
Because it’s down in the dumps! 😂
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He don’t come around here no more
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
Finished season 5 and now I’m sad
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems
Why are numbers below 0 always sad
Because everything around them is negative
I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.
She's a little melancholy.
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.
I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody
Comic Sans implies the existence of
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon
Whenever my girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon...
Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
What do you call a sad coffee?
Why was the math book so sad?
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