Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
Why are guitars always so sad?
Because they’re always getting picked on
I started to pet my cat as he was sad.
After that, he was feline better.
Why was the sea anemone sad?
Because he'd rather see a friend.
Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
What do you call a sad coffee?
Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
What do you call a sad frog?
Why was the dog sad?
His girlfriend was a bitch!
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
From my 5 year old mind: “Why is trash always sad ?”
Because it’s down in the dumps! 😂
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He don’t come around here no more
Finished season 5 and now I’m sad
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
Why are numbers below 0 always sad
Because everything around them is negative
I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.
She's a little melancholy.
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
I’m sad to see my biography of Josef Fritzl...
Hasn’t made any of the best cellar lists.
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
Why was the strawberry sad?
Never write sad songs
You’re just making a bad situation verse!
As my daughter opened her last gift on Christmas morning with a sad look in her eyes...
I said: “If you think that’s the end, you’ve got another thing coming!”
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
Why was the amputee sad?
He had just been defeeted.
What did one sad cow say to the other sad cow?
Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
Why was Mike Tyson Sad at the strip club?
Sad news
apparently the Michelin Man has retyred
What do you call a sad hat?
Some say it’s sad that so many kids are shuffled through foster care.
Others might call it reWARDing.
I know. I’m sorry.
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
My friend has been really sad ever since Tom Petty died.
That’s why he don’t come around here no more.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Why was the math book so sad?
Sad news. I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine
She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Loraine is gone
ripped off
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