I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"
Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
When I die Iβm expecting lots of crying, lots of wailing, genuine sadness.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 20 2019
As I was cleaning the dirtiest swimming pool ever, people looked at me with sadness in their eyes...
I'm just a pool boy, I need no sympathy.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 12 2021
Itβs kind of sad that Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
π︎ 497
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
Itβs sad the neighborhood went down the crapper
π︎ 525
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
What is it called when everything in your spice cabinet is sad?
π︎ 42
π
︎ May 14 2021
From my son. "What do you call Coffee for sad people?"
π︎ 92
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Welp, his son is sad now
π︎ 518
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
What kind if vegetable makes you sad?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 16 2021
What do you call a sad straw berry
π︎ 108
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Why was the dolphin sad? because it had no porpoise in life.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 18 2021
Sometimes Sundays are really sad, but I noticed today that they are never the saddest of the week
The day before is always a sadder day
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 02 2021
My Son came up to me this morning and said "Don't be sad".
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 04 2021
What do you call a group of sad journalists?
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 19 2021
When I get sad, I like to get on an elevator. I find it very uplifting.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 02 2021
What was the sad teenager listening to while they were forced to do yard work?
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 13 2021
Sad news fellas, I broke up with my girlfriend Lorraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee. Good news though, I can see Claire Lee now, Lorraine is gone.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
Why are guitars always so sad?
Because theyβre always getting picked on
π︎ 70
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
What do you call a sad flower?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
Sadly, Aquaman was never able to finish college.
All his grades were below C level.
π︎ 79
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
I started to pet my cat as he was sad.
After that, he was feline better.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
π︎ 584
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
"I caught two men in balaclavas breaking into my house last night," said my friend. "But they got away sadly."
"How do you know they were sad if they were wearing balaclavas?" I asked.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Why was the sea anemone sad?
Because he'd rather see a friend.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Why was the dog sad?
His girlfriend was a bitch!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call a sad frog?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
Sad news. The man who invented predictive text has passed away.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
From my 5 year old mind: βWhy is trash always sad ?β
Because itβs down in the dumps! π
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He donβt come around here no more
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Lifeguards are sad to report the drowning of a hippie last night.
π︎ 108
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
π︎ 87
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Itβs a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldnβt whisk for a batter friend.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Finished season 5 and now Iβm sad
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
So sad
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
Why are numbers below 0 always sad
Because everything around them is negative
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Why was Mr.Bee sad?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
I think not letting my dog eat water melon is makings her sad.
She's a little melancholy.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.
I lost the Rockβs paper scissors.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasnβt as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person sheβs dating is). Happy new year everybody
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Sad cat noises :(
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
*sad mario noises*
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Whenever my girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body
I gave her a shoulder to crayon...
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
Sunday is sad
But the day before is an even sadder day
π︎ 564
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
What do you call a sad coffee?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
