I regret nothing
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I asked my wife, if there's anything she regrets in our marriage. Do you know what she said?
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︎ May 15 2021
Why did the robber regret stealing my oatmeal?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What do you call the Greek God of regret ?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I regret going vegan
It was a big missed steak
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︎ Mar 14 2021
I have my regrets about today...
Even the cake is in tiers!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I regret nothing :p
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︎ Aug 30 2020
Decided to help my friend restring his guitar, I have no regrets
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︎ Dec 20 2019
If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it
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︎ Jun 30 2019
When you ask google assistant for a pun and you instantly regret it
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︎ Jul 24 2019
I regret not staying up last night for New Years
But you know what they say hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Jan 01 2020
My Son asked me if I had any regrets over the really expensive neck brace I bought...
Can honestly say I've never looked back
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︎ Jan 07 2020
I regret every decision Iβve made thatβs led to this moment.
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︎ Jun 26 2019
I regret getting that new vacuum cleaner,
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︎ Jan 27 2020
My brother regrets many things in life but mostly he regrets not ever having a wild time before settling down and having kids.
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︎ Dec 03 2019
Was on a date, made the joke, no regrets
We were walking down the street and I saw the upcoming intersection was "Fairwell Ave."
When we reached the crosswalk, I said I should head home, and then followed up with, "I guess this is farewell."
Eyes rolled but it was worth it.
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︎ May 08 2016
I have some deep-seated regret for covering my organs in gold.
I have internalized gilt.
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︎ Dec 02 2019
βͺI regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with. β¬ βͺ
But it turns out it wasnβt the catβs pyjamas
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︎ Jan 04 2020
My boss accused me of stealing, and fired me from my job at the furniture store. But I regret nothing.
Sometimes you have to take a stand.
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︎ Sep 21 2018
I might regret introducing my father to Reddit
A few days ago, my dad (who is a recent Reddit convert) and I were watching "American Hustle" and in the middle of the movie, Christian Bale's character opens up a safe at one of his dry cleaning businesses.
Dad taps me on the shoulder, leans over and says:
"OP Delivered"
He immediately began cackling as I groaned.
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︎ Dec 31 2013
Goats don't instinctively know, and have to find out for themselves, that if you sleep with a jackass, mule regret it.
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︎ Nov 29 2017
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,
as I can no longer make hens meet!
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︎ Aug 13 2018
I regret not getting the 20 oz porterhouse at the restaurant
It was a big missed steak
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︎ Nov 04 2019
I regret nothing
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︎ Apr 30 2019
I doodled at school. I regret nothing.
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︎ Mar 28 2019
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
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︎ Jun 06 2019
Why did the former doctor regret becoming a prosecutor?
His new job was trying his patients.
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︎ Jul 31 2019
My buddy quit his job as an air traffic controller to become a monk, and now regrets it.
Itβs like he got out of flying plans and into the friar.
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︎ Aug 29 2018
I regret buying a boomerang with teeth on my recent trip to Australia.
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︎ Feb 19 2019
I regret working at a German sausage company
It was the wurst decision of my life.
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︎ Mar 11 2016
I regret asking my wife why sheβs buying a giant tub of whiteout from the store.
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︎ Feb 05 2019
Why did he NSA whistleblower regret moving to Russia?
He was always snowed in/Snowden
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︎ Jul 06 2017
I regret not naming my baby Richard.
I could've been sending Dick pics all the time.
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︎ Oct 17 2017
I entered a pull-up competition and I regret it.
The bar was set pretty high.
(I came up with this joke, though I would not be surprised if this, or a variant of the joke was on this sub.)
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︎ Jun 16 2018
I regret trying to patent a giant boomerang with teeth.
It came back to bite me in a big way.
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︎ Sep 09 2018
I really regret not watching a certain TV show in the 80's.....
......I guess I'm just experiencing Macguyver's guilt.
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︎ Jul 24 2016
I regret nothing
I've repeatedly told people that I regret nothing... Although in hindsight i dont know if that was the smartest choice
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︎ Aug 22 2018
Sure I regret letting my dick pics get out there on the internet...
...but I guess that's just my crotch to bare.
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︎ Feb 17 2017
Sometimes I regret picking to study History alongside English at University.
My degree would have been completely lit.
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︎ Dec 15 2017
I regret rubbing eyes with ketchup
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︎ Jan 29 2021
What do you call the Greek God of regret?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
I regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes.
But that's Heinz sight for you.
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︎ Aug 23 2019
I regret wiping my eyes with ketchup on my hands.
But that's Heinz sight for ya.
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︎ Aug 28 2019
I really regret rubbing ketchup in my eyes last night...
that's Heinz sight for you.
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︎ Nov 13 2019
You will regret going vegan.
It's a huge missed steak.
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︎ Feb 11 2019
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