Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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Just a quick apology to those Take That fans I offended earlier.

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I put my worst joke on youtube for the world to enjoy! (Apologies for clickbaity title) youtu.be/_xu_nAniZ74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DepotAdventures
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Abject apologies.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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What do you call an apology sent via Morse Code?

Remorse Code.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CelticGaelic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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I tried to get my wife to accept my apology after saying her skin was like leather

But she's not suede

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinema_King
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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A new Navy recruit has his first day on a submarine.... (apologies to u/buddybd)

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Apologies for having to block out so much
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AniFaulscabek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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Public Apology

I apologize to everyone in the sub about my earlier post. I was trying to make a funny joke, but I spelled the title wrong and couldn't go back. After that, everything spiraled out of control. I thought about deleting it and pretending it never happened, even denying it's very existence, but after a moment of reflection I realized:

There's no use lying over spelled milk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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If I tell a joke, it’s a dad joke. No apologies...

#That’s how eye roll!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk (New to the sub, hope this hasn’t been posted before, apologies if it has)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bully90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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My apologies, the concept behind this joke is 100% β€œgross ewe”...

144 female sheep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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This pun was irresisTEAble (Apologies for quality) imgur.com/9elPpKl
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinghfb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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CarTalk pun goldmine (apologies if repost... I searched but did not find) cartalk.com/content/staff…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SQLDave
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelifesponge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I wrote an apology in morse code

I call it the remorse code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-morse code.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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