I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
I told the guy at the smoothie shop that he accidentally gave me the protein smoothie instead of the normal one.
He said no, there’s no whey.
Found this pun at my local Subway sandwich shop.
Despite what you'd think, witches really like to shop at Hobby Lobby.
I lost my job at the weed shop
Now, I struggle with chronic joblessness.
Did you hear about the Frenchman at the hat shop who kept getting yelled at by his boss?
He got tired of being beret-ted all of the time.
Do you know how to tell someone tells too many bad jokes at a butcher shop?
Cuz even the beef gets corny
I got my car horn fixed at a Lion King themed shop called Scar's Auto Body.
Why do Storm Troopers shop at Wal Mart?
Because they couldn’t find the Target
What crime fighting duo hangs out at the noodle shop?
I was doing gymnastics after a part-time shift at the tire change shop, my coach asked me how I learned to do back handsprings without a tumbling cylinder
I said it actually just took me a goodyear or two
I shop at Aldi
Because they have aldi things I need.
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.
This pretty much sums of every applicant we’ve seen at the shop....Nah, hostess
The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said
Why did the chicken like to shop at the dollar store?
What did the wizard get at the shop?
I was hired to fix tires at the bike shop, but I'd rather be their media guy.
I guess I'm more of a spokesman.
What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeé for that!!
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
I just saw a concert at my favorite auto shop.
They're a pretty good garage band.
I quit my job fixing controllers at the tv repair shop.
I wasn’t making remotely enough.
I almost fell asleep at the tire shop
I had a job at muffler shop...
but I found the work very EXHAUSTING.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?
Whenever I go to a Apple Store, I feel like a three year old at a candy shop.
Why did the guy at the tire shop quit?
He retired because he was tired of so much re-tiring.
I went to the boomerang shop downtown to look at their selection today.
Turns out they have a great return policy.
Why does Harry Potter only shop at Target?
Because he hates Waldemart.
They had an overstock situation at the spice shop
They had way too much thyme on their hands.
I used to work at a shoe recycling shop but I had to quit.
It was destroying my sole.
At The Cheese Shop
Dad: Well, this is some gouda cheese!
Kid: No, dad, that's camembert.
(I just needed to share this.)
I went down to the bread shop and ordered. The baker threw it at me!
He said I wanted a plane bagel!
My job at the tea shop required 12 months of training
There’s a steep learning curve.
A friend of mine works at a butcher shop. Here are some of the signs he's made for the store. (x-post /r/meat)
Album here: http://imgur.com/a/yc3yJ
Did you hear about the freak accident where the escalator at a shop started moving really fast and threw people off...
Let me tell you it really escalated quickly.
Saw this at the local meat shop
I had a dad joke moment today at the coffee shop. Didn't go well.
Ordered a pumpkin spice coffee:
Barista when it's ready: "Pumpkin?"
Me: "What did you just call me?"
Dead silence.
I went to the men’s room at the Duty Free Shop
When people ask about the beer selection at the local shop.
Just been offered a job at a local ice cream shop, but I turned it down.
I don't like working on sundaes.
What do you call a chubby person who works at an ice cream shop?
I worked at a vacuum repair shop
So apparently there was a kidnapping at my local coffee shop..
I guess some little boy fell asleep.
I don’t know why everyone is so surprised at the reaction of the short guy in the bagel shop
It’s a well known fact that 6/7 dwarfs aren’t Happy
Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop
The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Apparently someone got battered
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