It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.

We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.

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👤︎ u/klwill1192
📅︎ Oct 19 2020
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Which company did sponsor glasses in Star Wars?

Rey-Ben

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👤︎ u/Navi66
📅︎ Mar 17 2020
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The sponsor was Audible.
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👤︎ u/MarLun00
📅︎ Jul 07 2019
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If I owned a financial planning business I would definitely sponsor a run

But only if it was a 401k

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📅︎ May 24 2017
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Hitler sponsors a 10k.

He calls it the master race.

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📅︎ Jun 21 2015
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Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.

They blessed the brains down in Africa

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/02K30C1
📅︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call state-sponsored cereal brands from Algeria?

Algerios

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👤︎ u/Y5K77G
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
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My School was sponsored by Ikea.

Assembly took ages.

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👤︎ u/RayInRed
📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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Totally not sponsored...
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📅︎ Jul 16 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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👤︎ u/DeusJZ
📅︎ Jun 26 2020
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I heard that Marvel is now sponsoring Uncle Ben's rice and changing the picture to Peter Parker's uncle.

The new slogan is "With great power comes great rice possibilities."

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📅︎ Jun 17 2020
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Joe Rogan should be sponsored by Rogaine so he can become Joe Rogaine
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📅︎ Feb 06 2020
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What do you call a high-end clothing outlet sponsored by a Norwegian band, the undead, and a magical woman?

ABBA Zombie and Witch.

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📅︎ Nov 19 2018
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I recently entered a competition sponsored by the Astrological society.

I didn't come first, but I did win the constellation prize.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/stw303
📅︎ Dec 19 2018
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I went to this conference sponsored by Intel

All we got for lunch was chips.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/bloody1ips
📅︎ Feb 28 2018
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Big sports news on ESPN.com: Monster Energy is sponsoring American Pharoah

Good to see they didn't passover the opportunity.

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👤︎ u/coachlasso
📅︎ Jun 03 2015
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Coming in 2020

A new coding bootcamp, featuring international percussion ensembles, sponsored by former vice president and climate change activist behind An Inconvenient Truth.

"Al Gore Rhythm"

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📅︎ Jan 23 2020
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What's the longest word in the English language?

A word from our sponsors.

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👤︎ u/Tuba_phone
📅︎ Aug 27 2018
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I texted a friend to tell them I was sick. They replied, "Did you send this from your sickbed?"

I responded, "No, the bed is fine. I'm the one who is sick."

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📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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Geese

Every time geese flew in a "V" shape over the house:

Grandpa- "Do you know why one side is longer than the other?"

Me- "No, why?"

Grandpa- "Because there's more geese on that side. Huehuehue!"

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👤︎ u/Rel3ntl3ss
📅︎ Aug 08 2013
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Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance?

There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.

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📅︎ May 15 2018
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Clean kill

My grandfather, in his younger days, retired from his NASCAR dreams to do construction so he could raise a family. Fast forward 45 years to 1994. I was around 15. My grandfather, grandmother, her mother, and I were on the return trip from the Costco and liquor store just inside the no sales tax state of Oregon. My grandfather was, as usual, driving. He raced for Lincoln and they sponsored him so they gave him a really good lifetime discount. He drove a brand new Continental his entire life. He always raced down to Oregon as fast as he could and then tried beating his time while driving back. Suddenly, at about 140mph, a Pheasant committed suicide on the front end. We could see feathers occasionally come loose. Grandpa already had a couple minutes to make up. Needless to say, despite my grandma's insistance, stopping to investigate wasn't in the plans. When we got home, he was cussing an ill timed traffic light with a bored motorcycle cop parked on the sidewalk waiting for his target. My grandma and great grandma nearly died when, without batting an eye, grandpa pulled the Pheasant off the car, grabbed his Gerber knife, and stripped, cleaned, and threw the bird on the BBQ. I was in dying from laughter at this point. Grandma and my great grandma were dying from embarrassment. He offered them some and grandma angrily refused for the 3 of us, calling it road kill. Without skipping a beat, he calmly replied "This isn't road kill, it's Continental Wild Pheasant, Twice-Grilled."

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📅︎ Jul 02 2018
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Getting Married

"Daddy," a little boy asked his father.
"How much does it cost to get married?"

"I don't know," replied the father, "I'm still paying for it."

(Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)

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📅︎ Apr 17 2015
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Running joke

I was telling my Dad about a race I had done today and how the big gym that had sponsored the event had but on free bacon sandwiches for all the competitors.

He stopped me mid-sentence with

"That was kind of him - Big Jim"

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👤︎ u/k9markiii
📅︎ Dec 02 2013
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