Some meat puns are so bad

that I wouldn't wish them upon my wurst enemy.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Googled meat puns, not dissapointed
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rybeewoods
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
You really ate dog meat? How was it?

.... rough

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/santafesmike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
If anyone gets a DM from me about canned meat, don't open it!

It's SPAM

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SludgePuncher
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently gotten over my addiction to deli meats

I was able to quit cold turkey

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ismokelettuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
cured meats
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorNebula
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
People who sell meat are gross.

But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cthulhouette
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I am a butcher by trade & yesterday I accidently backed into the meat grinder

I got a little behind in my work

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...

Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-Man54
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when the many daughters of your sibling make you breakfast meat patties?

Poly-niece-an sausage

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried kangaroo meat once...

it made me too jumpy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What happened to the woman who sat on the meat slicer?

Disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HerrDictator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
If anyone gets an email from me with the subject 'My meat', don't open it.

It's spam.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My roommates said I really need to cut down on the amount of deli meat I’ve been eating

But I’m not about to quit cold turkey

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dollex69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to convince my friend that being a fraudster isn't for him. I went over to his house the other day and he was putting canned meat in envelopes.

Apparently he was sending a bunch of Spam Mail.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar to find pieces of meat hanging above him…

He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, β€œIf you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”

The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, β€œNah, the steaks are too high.”

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snrckrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
That’s a sus-y meat-a-ball. πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bspalding09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibal call the curry he made using the meat of Joshua - a balding Indian man?

Rogaine Josh

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/celebrationrock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the cheapest type of meat?

Deer testicles. They're under a buck!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If someone mails you a square can of meat, DON'T open it!

It's Spam.

πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamREBELoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?

The Sausages.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling

Guy:"Whats this about?" Bartender:"Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyones drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it? Guy:"Nah, the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just ate a burger made out of bear meat

It was very gristly.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Meats back on the menu boys
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ng_art
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you get a call from a canned meat company, hang up immediately...

It's a Spam.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do I always cook my deer meat at medium rare instead of medium?

There is so much more flavor that way, It’s really a game changer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarnOldTramp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........

.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
High school started out promising for me, but I ended up selling meat as a job.

I guess you can say I butchered my grades.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamz000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
They say eating raw meat can make you sick

Don't worry I cured it.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Howard_Jones
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
i went to a restaurant and the waitress threw a piece of meat on the ceiling. she offered me $100 to go and get it off and i replied:

No, the steaks are too high!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mferrari24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do German meat lovers breathe?

Hamburg-air

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovethedarknet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the cheapest meat?

Deer balls, cause they’re always under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of meat is located on your shin

Bologna (below knee)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shugaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
People who sell meat are gross.

But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cthulhouette
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
The butcher backed up into his meat grinder

And as a result, he got a little behind in his work.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A vegan told me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"

I told them "people who sell fruits and vegetables grocer"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrhotdog82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat, don't open it ...

It's Spam.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it!

It’s spam

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
People who sell meat are gross

But people who sell produce are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If anybody gets a message from me about canned meat

don't open it it's spam

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TroyExplores
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
People who sell meat are gross

But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Vegan son : People who sell meat are gross

dad: people who sell fruits/vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/europiece-of-shit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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