What puns can I tell when I want to tell my friends I got a boyfriend?
What puns can you make containing the word "rush?"
I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?
What’s the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
What kind of bird doesn’t know the words to their own song?
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
What do you call a group of deaf people?
I don't know. But it is definitely not herd.
I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.
I never got a straight answer.
What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
What did the Doctor say to the constipated detective?
Mom should have specified what she wanted
Perfect for the kids - what do you call a bear with no teeth?!
What is the opposite of Ladies fingers?
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
What kind of people never get angry?
What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
What’s the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do you call two young married spiders?
If Chewie is short for Chewbacca, and Ben is short for Obi Wan, what is Luke short for?
What is the smelliest kind of ox?
What is Jesus' favourite band?
What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
you know what drives old people up the wall?
What's blue and not very heavy?
What do you call a bee that cannot make up its mind?
A maybe....
Courtesy of my 5 y/o daughter.
I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me "what is your greatest weakness?". I said "I am too honest"
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
What would you call a walking mosquito?
What did the computer say to the other after a 16 hour car ride?
"Damn that was a hard drive."
“So what’s it like living in the mountains?”
It’s got it’s ups and downs
What does James Bond do before he goes to bed?
What do you call someone who takes pictures of Vietnamese soup?
What do you call a Jedi with four eyes?
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is
He replied " I am probably a Type O"
What do you call a retired miner?
What did the 0 say to the 8?
What's something a drug dealer would never ask?
What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.
The rabbit says, “I’m probably a Type-O”
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
The trees around the house are starting to bud. I said to my wife, "Honey, do you know what happens when the trees leaf out?"
A look of hopeful curiosity washed over her as she fell into my trap. "No, what?"
"Very SHADY things."
It must've reminded her that she had something else to do that was very important.
What keeps the ocean from leaking out?
What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Dead ant, dead ant … dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, DEAD ANNNNT!
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