A soup pun
I ordered a quart of matzoh ball soup from the restaurant across the street. They usually put two matzoh balls per order, but I asked if I could have a third. The guy on the phone said he'd try to fit the extra one in.
When I went to pick up the soup, I asked the guy if he was able to get the third one in the container, and he said "Yup, the ball's in your quart now".
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︎ Dec 05 2014
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
What font do they use for the letter noodles in Alphabet Soup?
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︎ May 27 2021
Soup (I know itβs from Instagram but thatβs why I kept the @ of the account in)
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︎ May 31 2021
Donβt you guys hate it when you have hare in your soup
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︎ May 19 2021
What do you call someone who takes pictures of Vietnamese soup?
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︎ Apr 25 2021
What do you call 1000kg of Chinese soup?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Iβm ready to share my Grandmaβs special Gold soup recipe: first you boil the water,
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︎ May 26 2021
I combined vegetable and alphabet soups.
It solved my consonantpation and i had a vowel movement.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
What did Snoop Dawg say when he tried the soup in Saigan?
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︎ Apr 18 2021
My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up.
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Why do the Irish always put 239 beans in their soup?
Because anymore would be too farty.
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
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︎ Mar 16 2021
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef!
>!Not everyone can pea (pee) soup!!<
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︎ Apr 16 2021
"Have you heard about the Asian chef that spilled soup?"
"Yes, he burned his Japaknees,"
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︎ Feb 16 2021
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I was peacefully eating my Chinese soup, until a guy came out of nowhere and flipped the bowl, spilling my soup everywhere and ruining my meal.
This was an act of wonton destruction.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I had a go at making soup for the family tonight
I had some great feedback, the kids even said it was souper good!
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︎ Feb 19 2021
After eating alphabet soup....
....the next time I pooped I had a vowel movement. But I'm a bit worried that all the other letters still haven't come out. It's been a while now so I went to see my doctor. He said it wasn't a big deal. I was just a little consonantipated.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
On what type of plate does Dracula get his blood soup served on?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
What do you call Japanese alphabet soup?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
Youβve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for....
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︎ Mar 13 2020
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Soup
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I lost my job at the salvation army soup kitchen last night.
All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...
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︎ Jan 11 2021
The Soup Dragon rules!
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Whatβs a soup that makes you think a lot?
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Whatβs a Tauntaunβs favorite Chinese soup?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What do you call a person who made a painting with soup?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Thin soup
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︎ May 16 2020
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
How much did the soup weigh?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What do you call a soup factory run by strippers?
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Did you hear about this new soup that's highly in demand?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday
And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
Have you heard that there are some people who are against Vietnamese soup?
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︎ Dec 09 2020
What does a duck put in itβs soup?
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︎ Oct 05 2020
The soup's gone bad.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
What do you call the biggest size of soup you can order in restaurants?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Why is haunted soup the best?
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Why was the soup in a good mood?
Because it felt super duper!
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Iβve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...
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︎ Jan 03 2021
From my 8yr old: Whatβs the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you canβt pee soup!
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
How many beans do you need to make the perfect bean soup?
239.
Because one more would be too farty.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Whatβs the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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