I was planing on taking a shower at my hotel today...

...but apparently they bolt those things to the wall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exturo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I was planing a camping holiday...

... but I have to say I'm far from impressed with my travel insurance. It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night I'll no longer be covered.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkersuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
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Plane Puns
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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I went skydiving today for the first time. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the Plane and as we plummeted , he said:

"So , how long have you been an Instructor?"

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Setsunai___
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
So this plane takes off, am I right??

...I guess not every joke lands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mau5ofcards
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...

I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Its lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India

Turnsout, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiva8512
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Shakes On a Plane.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Plane
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I'm flying to Florida today. Best part about the plane is

it can take off Or lando

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLuminous
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.

Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skyfox2k
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?

To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Natural_Link_2841
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.

Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahlonMurder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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My son asked me how often planes crash

Usually just once

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?

Jet lag.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriedBaozi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you fix BeyoncΓ©'s private plane

Put a wing on it

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Who invented the first plane

That's Wright

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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art teacher: is that a bird or a plane

young clark kent: crumples self portrait

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_snk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my plane had a fight

We now have thrust issues

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...

... and as you can see, they were Wright

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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My dad confiscated my weed so I stole his plane ticket.

I guess neither of us will be getting high.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What sound does a bouncy plane make?

Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 392
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seven_Arcadian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...

Bu-DUM hisssss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal.

πŸ‘︎ 271
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mexpotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a plane that always lands rough?

Boing

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?

He heard it involved axes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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A Vulture is about to get on a plane.

Do you have any baggage to declare?

No thanks, just carrion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."

The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fearless-Gas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, β€œWindow or aisle?” I laughed in her face and replied, β€œWindow or you’ll what?”

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nandos677
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?

Their flight was deleied.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 30,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Elon Musk should sell planes

That could really take off

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASHER999999
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to learn more facts about planes

But they keep going over my head.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Why did the momma plane say the son plane couldn't fly?

Because it was grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atxflyguy83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to a male plane when it saw a female plane?

Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuusizaari15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Red Barron Originally Planed To Incorporate an Amelia Earhart Line Of Pizzas Into Their Brand.

But didn't because they felt no one would be able to find them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoManner8265
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.

The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t know what it is about planes but

They seem to have really taken off recently.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thorne175
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this disease where I can’t stop signaling to planes for help.

The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A family is flying to Japan on vacation. The son ask "dad, are we there yet" the dad replies "not yet son"

A few hours later the plane lands in japan. The dad looks at his son and says "okinawa here"

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gullible-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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