Two astronauts went to space and just sat in their shuttle watching the beautiful earth rotate.

After 24 hours, they finally had enough and decided to call it day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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Shuttle driver at work had a good one just now

Customer asks him, "Are you the shuttle?" He replies, "the shuttle is over there, I'm the driver!"

Customer and I had a good laugh at that one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ax0m
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2015
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Why were the astronauts quiet ?

Because they spaced out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scene1Take5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Did you know that Apollo 11 landed in the wrong place?

The shuttle was low on fuel, so Armstrong has to take manual control of it to find them a safer place to land, landing 4 miles away from where they intended to.

The scientists behind it were very Apollo-getic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpiderFlash-1273
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Why do mission controllers count down on takeoff?

If they counted up the space shuttle would never take off.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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One that came to me in a 3am epiphany. Better when spoken aloud.

There’s two astronauts on a shuttle. It’s going smoothly when one astronaut noticed something wrong with the engine. He turns to the other and says β€œHey, something seems to be wrong with the engine. You think this could be fatal?” The other astronaut replies:

β€œAs tro hope naut.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arachnica
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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It was getting really hot in the journey, so I opened the window to let some air in.

I closed the window after a minute, and everyone disappeared from inside the space shuttle!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pakistani_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A joke my dad would say when I was learning how to drive.

Every time I'd park the car more than 6 inches away from the curb he'd open the door, look down at the gap between the car and the curb, then close the door and say "I guess we can take the shuttle."

I guess it's not really a dad joke but it's definitely dad humor. Now I say it every chance I get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wustebarth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Well, that was morbid...

My wife and I were coming home from the grocery store when we passed a funeral procession coming from the opposite direction. The hearse was just hit by another car at the intersection, to which I said, "Boy, talk about DOA!"

Groans were had and I'll be resuming my shuttling duties shortly, ferrying souls to hell with me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/defguysezhuh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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Could've just asked the concierge.

I was at the airport waiting for my flight home the other night when over the P.A they asked everyone from flight DJ-478 to Sydney to make their way to the service desk, so myself and my fellow passengers make our way over to the desk, where the very embarrassed and obviously distressed desk worker informs us that our flight has been cancelled, and the next one isn't till the morning, she then tells us that the airport will happily put us up in the 5 star hotel around the corner, and have us dropped back at the airport at 7am the following morning. Most the people there accepted this, after the desk lady told us it was for our personal safety and that there wasn't a lot more they could do, except this one particular gentleman, who storms over to the desk, and tells the woman that he needed to be in sydney tonight, and demands a flight be made available. (It's like 9:30 by this point, surely it could wait till the morning?). After again apologizing to the man, she tells him that won't be possible, and she sends us all on our way to the shuttle bus, with our bags already on there, and off we go to the hotel. The entire bus trip this guy carried on whinging and swearing, getting angrier and angrier by the second. We get to the hotel, and he's about 30 people behind the front of the queue to check in, and he gets impatient with the time it's taking, and again, storms his way up the line, past me (I was at the front), walks over to the desk, slams his fist down and says to the woman behind the desk "I want the biggest room you have, I want it in the next 30 seconds or so help me god, you aren't gonna like what happens", the woman looked up at him and said "Sir, the airport has paid for the rooms we already have organized, if you'll take your place back in line, we'll be with you as soon as we can", the guy got really angry about being asked to move back to his spot, he threw his bag down, and yelled at the woman, "Fuck this, call me a taxi, right fucking now, I'll find somewhere else to stay", that's when i decided to step in.

I said. "Oh okay then, you're a taxi".

He took his place back in line pretty quick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iCappa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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A turtle was crossing the road...

...in front of our shuttle bus yesterday, on our way to a Civil War re-enactment. "He's trying to get away from the battle before it begins", said our driver.

Without missing a beat, I quipped "Yeah, he must have heard there was going to be a shelling."

Half-hearted groans were had, and my wife wanted to disappear. Success!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacmanfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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My dad gets my brother at airport

So me and my family were on our way to Florida for a trip to Universal and Harry Potter world. The five of us were crammed in one of the shuttles that you ride to get to the airport from the far hinterland where you park your car. My little brother, ever the curious one, is asking my mom about our upcoming flight. He asks "So where are we sitting on the flight?" My dad, who up until this point hadn't contributed much to the conversation, got the gleam of a dad in his eye. He gave a smirk and, before my mother could reply, said "Well I don't know about you, but I'll be sitting on my ass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0dd426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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