A list of puns related to "Wedding Planning"
Both being from Texas, the MIL wanted something BIG and fancy. And the BTB wanted more of a traditional outdoors gathering. They couldn't even agree on what to serve their guests for dinner. As the date approached, they were barely speaking to each other.
In the end, it was a chili reception.
They can't elope
Because they cantaloupe!
Because they cantaloupe!
Because they cantaloupe
Sorry to toot my own horn, but I really liked this.
The pub quiz guy was reading out the answers.
Him: "The answer to question 29 is Niki Lauda"
Me: "Niki what?"
Him: "Lauda"
Me: "NIKI WHAT?"
He gave us half a point for that joke. We won by a quarter of a point. Boom!
We're currently planning our wedding (by this, I mean she and her mother are).
She sent me a text earlier this morning saying "picking flowers for the wedding is hard :-("
I responded "Don't pick them yet, our wedding isn't for another three months, there's no way they'll stay fresh that long."
Anyways, I think the flowers are pink or something.
So, I broke my foot four days before my wedding. And after a bunch of concerned texts and calls, I posted a status on Facebook that basically said "Thanks for the concern, I went to the ER and everything is going to be OK so I'm focusing my time on wedding planning now instead of worrying about my foot."
To which my uncle replies "You really should see a doctor, wouldn't want to start out on the wrong foot."
My fiance was telling me about her best friend's wedding planning:
Fiancee: So I was talking to my friend about her wedding and she's finally picked a date-
Me (interrupting): Wait, isn't she the one getting married?
Fiancee (slightly confused): ...yeah...
Me: So why is she bringing a date?
Fiancee: ...
Paul has a shitty life, his wife constantly berates him, his job sucks, his boss is a bully, his car is a shitty 85 ford pinto with a cracked windshield and is in bad need of a new transmission and to top it all off he's chubby, balding, and he has a small penis.
The only thing good in Paul's life is his friend Artie. Artie isn't the brightest bulb in the world, but he's always been there for Paul in the tough times. On October 5, 1953 Artie stood up for Paul against his bully in 7th grade. Artie got his ass handed to him at that time, but so did Paul. That incident resulted in a life long friendship. Paul and Artie went to the same High School together. They traveled around Europe that one summer in college. Artie was Paul's best man at his wedding. Everyone thought speech Artie gave was terrible, But Paul loved it Artie was his best friend.
Artie's life wasn't much better either, he never had the smarts for that great Job. In fact he was stuck in a dead end job as a construction labourer. Artie's car was pretty shitty too. Artie never married, but he was happy in the knowledge that at least he didn't end up with Paul's shitty wife.
For Paul's 46th birthday Artie was pretty broke, so all he could get his friend was a single lottery ticket. Artie being the sentimental guy that he was picked the date of the start of their friendship, and their respective ages (46, 45). Paul loved the present, and thought that the two of them should go to the Legion that friday to split a round of beers and listen to them call out the numbers.
On Friday they are both sitting there at the Legion having a laugh over a couple of beers when the cute lottery girl comes on the t.v. to read out the numbers. Paul pulls out the ticket and spreads it out on the beer stained table in front of them. The lottery girl starts reading out the numbers, 45, 10, 05. Both of Paul and Artie's hearts start beating, thats 200$ already. 53, Holy crap thats like a 10, 000 ticket. They both start losing their shit. 46....... Paul feints. He just won the jackpot. 37million dollars.
Two minutes later Artie finally revives Paul. Paul and Artie celebrate the night away, buy round after round for the people at the Legion and get absolutely shittered. They close out the bar and as the ugly lights come on they stumble blitzed, singing, onto the street arm in arm with the winning lottery ticket in hand and start the long walk back to Paul's place.
Halfway home, Paul comes to two drunken
... keep reading on reddit ➡At Thanksgiving dinner, my fiancee was discussing our wedding plans with the family.
Aunt: "We should definitely give you a shower!"
Uncle: "Yeah, she smells awful."
Because they cantaloupe!
Because they cantaloupe!
Because they cantaloupe!
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