I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so
I herded through the grapevine
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake I gave her a tube of Super Glue.
It’s been a week now and she’s still not talking to me.
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a pass word
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
My teammates hate that I don’t pass when I play hockey.
I honestly don’t give a puck.
Days when I don't eat anything pass so quickly.
I guess they are fast days.
"Hey bro, can you pass me the pamphlet?"
couldn't pass on such a pun thread
If Senate is a place where every bill needs to be pass through
It should be called Bill Gates.
I used to only pass gas on Democrats, but now I pass gas on Republicans too.
I guess that makes me bifartisan.
How does someone learn to pass gas?
Through extensive and persistent tootelage.
Dad: Do me a favour and pass up the hammerfor
Kid: What's a hammerfor?
Dad: Hammering, you fool.
My local safari park is trying to pass off common Caribou as African Wildebeest...
What should you do if you're walking downtown and you happen to pass a Fireman?
Which pharaoh are you when you can’t pass gas?
Why can't you pass a bill in the stables?
I asked my crush to pass me a chair
Cuz I was falling hard for him.
When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time...
When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn’t laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I’ve persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she’s in labor with our fourth and I’ve finally got her laughing...
I think I’ve really improved the delivery!
*Me every time we pass a cow pasture* “Did you know those are award winning cows?”
They’re out standing in their field
Too good of an occasion to pass
During this quarantine, many people have gotten new hobbies to pass the hours.
Why did the cholo only pass his English class?
Because he was all about his essays
This takes "Puff Puff Pass" to a whole new level! And that's my effort a t a weak pun...
Do you know what will happen if we pass universal healthcare?
All bums will be able to get colonoscopies.
Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
why couldn't the superhero pass a written test?
...he was always writing wrongs!
I was once in an airplane when I realized the pilot didn't pass any proper training
What do you call it when you go to the toilet and pass crystal clear urine?
Vincent's property buying Uncle Donot Pass Gogh.
What happens when you’re behind lettuce in a race and then pass lettuce?
My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, I gave her superglue.
She is still not speaking to me.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?
My wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick...
She still isn't talking to me
"Bro can you pass me that pamphlet?"
Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet?
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Bro, can you pass the pamphlet?
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