And I say, "yeah I got in way over my head."
They are calling it Corral Bleaching.
Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right u... keep reading on reddit ➡
I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.
I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen
He's actually a pretty sound guy.
Too bad he got fired, though. Turns out he couldn't handle feedback.
It's great! ^It's ^just ^like ^^trail ^^mix, ^^^except ^^^when ^^^^you ^^^^eat ^^^^^it ^^^^^your ^^^^^^voice ^^^^^^fades ^^^^^^^out.
Hey guys, this might sound too cheesy and I'm not sure if I'm posting on the right subreddit.
Every Saturday I give my SO a printed typography paper that I personally design with a pun of her name on it (her name is Des, I call her Mae so either is good).
Problem is, I can make the designs, but I'm running out of puns. Here's a list of what I've already done:
Holidess (Happy Holidays!)
Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit
There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is... keep reading on reddit ➡
Wanna get faded?
See... you know it's a dad joke when the shit-eating grin spreads across your face when you come up with the joke and doesn't fade after all your children roll their eyes at you... after you tell it for the fourth time... in a row.
Dad(Sitting on the computer behind me): Thewierdside come here a second.
ignore because of GTAV
Me: I'm coming!
Dad: Hi coming, i'm ejaculating.
do you know what an awkward laugh sounds like? because i do. It's when you laugh hysterically for 2 seconds then abruptly fade when you realise what your dad just said....
Oh yea, and why'd he call me on to the computer? he wanted a place to watch movies, so after that debacle, i suggested going to /r/fullmoviesonyoutube
Me: www.reddit.com slash r slash Full, Movies, on, youtube. no space
He, of course, wrote:
said it wasnt working then laughed when he told me he typed in exactly what i said.
"Old barbers never die...we just fade away"
When he returned home this morning I looked at the car and yelled "did you leave the car out in the rain last night?"
His look of terror faded into disbelief that he fell for it.
S: "You generally don't want to do that"
Me: "What does Robert E. Lee have to do with this?"
Scene cuts to friends with looks of a mix between amazement and pain. Scene fades to black as friends let out "OHHHHHHH!"'s, "Nice...", "Clever..." and face palms.
Might it be possible that the origin of "your jokes are lame" comes from "I cannot stand your jokes"?
Great dadjokes never die, they just fade into common usage...