A family vacation is when you go away with people....

....you need to get away from.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...

...but then my life would be meetingless.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Why did the germaphobe go away to live by himself?

He wanted to be hermitically sealed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopGovtOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Man-go away.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minimine35
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I decided I could go outside as long as I stayed 6 feet away from everyone

So I went for a nice walk through the cemetery

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Where do ghosts go to scare away all of the insects?

Boo-da-pest.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.

While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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What do you call an ant that won't go away?

Permanant

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mbwanderski
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Every balloon store i go to tells me that my balloons are just going to fly away and i’m sick of it!

I just want a regular balloon, no strings attached!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pocoparker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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The web designer presented us the options, but I knew right away which one we would go with.

I was love at first site.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lawpoop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Where do birds go to drink their troubles away?

The crowbar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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When food based puns won't go away
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RBC_SUCKS_BALLS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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Isn't a bit odd that you have to go completely off the grid to get away and recharge yourself?
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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β€œHi, is this the rejection hotline?” β€œNo! Go away!”
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jc123ucme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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What do you tell annoying footwear so that it will go away?

You tell it to shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xx_das_shame_xx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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I used to go over to my grandmother's house in the middle of the night and drink earl grey with her. It was our ritual. I called this evening out of habit, forgetting she had passed away, and her ghost answered.

I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NWmba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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I asked a contrarian yoga instructor to go away

He said "namaste"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escaridole
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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What weapon do British people use to make their enemies go away?

A sod off shotgun.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Brandon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2014
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My grandfather recently passed away. Here is his go-to joke.

Whenever we would all have an extended family dinner, he would always look up with a grin on his face and say "this is the best dinner I've had all day! Every. Time.

My grandfather was a man a few words. But dang it he was good at making the entire family groan.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/airborneaaron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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Go away dad

Dad sits really close to son. Son: Go away. Dad: Towards you is a way, scoots even closer

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisfindlay
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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What did the pessimist with the flu say when the doctor told him his congestion symptoms would go away within a week?

That'snot going to happen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoisedProgramar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
🚨︎ report

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