Why did the happy-go-lucky man quit his job at the Pepsi can crushing factory?

Because it was soda pressing. 😬

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardje11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, β€˜This isn’t for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
I finally quit drinking for good

Now I drink for evil

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
Why did the cyber-attacker quit his job?

He just couldn't hack it

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clicker300768
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
How did the smoker feel when he quit smoking?

He was de-lighted.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidkDavid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
How F1 drivers quit?

ALT+F4

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kov01b0t
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after giving my first lesson.

Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Why did the priest quit his job to become a personal trainer?

He was really into exorcising

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Why did the banker quit his job?

He lost interest.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nixus42
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a treadmill tester.

I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 181
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?

He was a rebel without a Claus

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
I was a doctor once, but I had to quit.

I just didn’t have the patients to be successful.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedeafbadger
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I used to be a judge for the world orchestra championships, but I quit because too many of them were coming out with outlandish sob stories to win me over...

Always trying to get the symphony vote.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.

He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chemist who quits his career to become a tailor?

Mend-e-sleeve

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I just quit my job at the helium factory.

I won’t be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the loan officer quit his job?

He was losing interest.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
I quit, my 9 to 5
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDogAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit making payments on my Ford compact automobile

Now, I have completely lost my Focus.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the tap dancer quit her job?

She kept falling into the sink!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the concrete plant.

My job was getting harder & harder.

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit being a flat earther,

because no one took me sphereiously.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gilgameshbrah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?

He wanted to reach a different plane of existence

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XxSaint_JimmyxX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
You should quit while you're a head
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My bodybuilder friend decided to quit the gym and get into seminary school instead.

Either way, he is cross training.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Why did the Donkey quit his job?

Hee Hawed enough!

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra! But I quit because . . .

It was just one ting after another.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/urkdor73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the IRS.

It was just too taxing.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterjon_3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.

Warmed in the microwave is so much better.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mexpotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my elevator job

Had too many ups and downs

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bacterial scientist quit his job?

It had a toxic culture.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luke_gib11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to college to become a meteorologist but I quit because

too much of the grade was based on class precipitation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the window inspector quit his job?

He felt too much pane.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when all the hens in the henhouse quit on the same day?

Chicken tenders.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to quit my job as a deep sea diver instructor.

The pressure was too much.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just quit my job as a treadmill tester...

I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought β€œThis isn’t for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory today.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice!

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough

I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, β€œThis isn’t for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium gas factory today

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit drinking for good!

Now I only drink for bad!

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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