I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. I’m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThroneDiscs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.

He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karma-Effect
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just quit my job at the helium factory.

I won’t be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 227
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the concrete plant.

My job was getting harder & harder.

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDogAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I was asked to play the triangle in our local symphony orchestra! But I quit because . . .

It was just one ting after another.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urkdor73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Donkey quit his job?

Hee Hawed enough!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yup I quit cold turkey last month.

Warmed in the microwave is so much better.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bacterial scientist quit his job?

It had a toxic culture.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luke_gib11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the IRS.

It was just too taxing.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterjon_3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when all the hens in the henhouse quit on the same day?

Chicken tenders.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the window inspector quit his job?

He felt too much pane.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my elevator job

Had too many ups and downs

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough

I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to college to become a meteorologist but I quit because

too much of the grade was based on class precipitation.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SufficientVariety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You should quit while you're a head
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mexpotato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the skater quit?

He got board

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lidl_thicc_duck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium gas factory today

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the skateboarder quit?

He got board

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hxroon68
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend quit work by having a multi-layer exploding cake...

When it exploded, everyone in the room left with tiers in their eyes!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit drinking for good!

Now I only drink for bad!

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to quit my job as a deep sea diver instructor.

The pressure was too much.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just quit his job as a can crusher

Because it was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a taste tester at the herbal seasonings factory...

... I found the work too Thyme consuming.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, β€œThis isn’t for me.”

πŸ‘︎ 327
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Our toilet quit working.

Me: Our toilet quit working. Wife: What?! We need that to work. Me: Yeah. It said it was tired of my shit.

Sorry if this is a repost. I just thought of this (on the toilet of course) and I think my wife may leave me over it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameisbuttsoup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit

No more Mr. Knife guy

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllKnowingBurrito
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.

Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the pirate quit smoking?

He used the patch.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sergeantscruffy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
You'd never believe that Hank Hill quit his job at Strickland to become a drug dealer

He now sells cocaine and cocaine accessories

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the programmer quit his job?

because he didn't get arrays.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dummy_149
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into my son’s room and saw him rage quit a video game.

β€œAre ya whining, son?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papserk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My best friend quit sailing recently

Not long after, he took up drowning

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job today as a sign writer.

I could see the writing was on the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siddsastar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The guy who colors the cloth quit my uncle's factory without warning.

My uncle's in dyer need.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
All day long my cat lazes around the house, saying he is hurt. I told him to quit being a hypochondriac

but he just keeps saying "me ow"

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-sunnydaze-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the stool quit his election campaign?

He didn’t have any backing !

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
This morning, after a long night of binging, I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. I saw my haggard, worn-out body and overcome with emotion I realised that for the sake of my family I had to quit cold turkey.

I'm going vegan today.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow farmer quit?

He was tired of smelling dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iuhoosiers4ike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most effective way to quit being vegan?

Cold turkey

πŸ‘︎ 241
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WJ_Stedback
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever since the kraken quit smoking..

He’s been Davy Jonesing

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a restaurant abnd my specialty was to make the icecreams and cakes, due to my busy schedule I had to quit...

Nonetheless they all call me a deserter

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lowlz13
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the helium factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicallyKayla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the window inspector quit his job?

He felt too much pane.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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