Quitting Puns

A list of puns related to "Quitting"

Told my wife I was quitting my job today to become an electrician

She was shocked.

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👤︎ u/yet-another-dad
📅︎ Nov 16 2020
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I'm quitting my soul sucking corporate job to be a marine biologist.

I've gotta find some porpoise in my life.

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👤︎ u/BlooregardQKazooo
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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My son bet me he could eat 150 eggs, but he ended up puking and quitting at 144.

It was gross.

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👤︎ u/LastProtagonist
📅︎ Jul 14 2020
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Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

I haven’t heard from him since.

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 10 2019
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Why do the subway drivers in a northern Italian city keep quitting?

They find it too hard to work under Brescia

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👤︎ u/vabune
📅︎ Apr 21 2020
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My wife is quitting her job as a hairdresser to become a police officer.

You know what they say: “Hair today, gun tomorrow.”

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👤︎ u/AlwaysWorseAtNight
📅︎ Dec 07 2019
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What did the farmer say before quitting?

I have never liked this croppy work environment, but this day's harvest is the final straw!

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👤︎ u/wkono
📅︎ Dec 11 2019
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‪I regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with. ‬ ‪

But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas

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👤︎ u/allanon101
📅︎ Jan 04 2020
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A soldier in egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army

A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.

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👤︎ u/Chaotic0rder
📅︎ Sep 11 2019
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Quitting Smoking is Very Easy.

I've Done it Hundreds of Times.

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👤︎ u/manicmoose13
📅︎ May 18 2019
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There was a whole wave of people quitting smoking when a government body put out a warning on cigarettes.

It was a surge in general.

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👤︎ u/jojj351
📅︎ May 12 2019
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My dad is quitting his bricklaying business. He is upset at how quickly people wants their houses built.

He told me, “Nowadays, everyone wants instant stratification.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 17 2018
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[News]: Low-cost boarding houses have employees quitting in record numbers

They claim it's because of a hostel work environment.

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👤︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
📅︎ Jan 16 2017
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Sometimes I fantasize about quitting my job and going to work in an oyster bar....

...but I heard the work kinda shucks.

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👤︎ u/threeninjas
📅︎ Feb 20 2016
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Quitting Dadjokes

Me: I haven't posted to /r/dadjokes all day!

Wife: I'm so proud of you baby! That must have been really hard!

Me: Yeah, it's like quitting smoking, cold turkey.

My wife then looks at me, smiles evilly, and lets out a low self appreciative chuckle.

Me: What's so funny?

Wife: You can't smoke cold turkey.

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👤︎ u/VanTil
📅︎ Jun 02 2014
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I tried going to the gym, but ended up quitting

It just wasn't working out for me..

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👤︎ u/SjekkieChan
📅︎ Apr 17 2017
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Sometimes going to the bank feels worse than quitting heroin did.

I get cash withdrawals.

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👤︎ u/scotscott
📅︎ Jun 21 2017
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When it comes to quitting smoking

The best method is the last method you try

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👤︎ u/wild_session
📅︎ Mar 04 2015
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I'm quitting reddit for the rest of the year
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👤︎ u/TheTretheway
📅︎ Dec 31 2014
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Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

I haven’t heard from him since.

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
📅︎ Jun 17 2019
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Now that thanksgiving is over I'm quitting cold turkey.
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👤︎ u/jtnichol
📅︎ Dec 05 2016
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