I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinals
It makes them soggy and hard to light
Your honor is it illegal to throw sodium chloride in someone's eyes?
Judge: it's assault
I know it's a salt, is it a crime though?
Your undergraduate diploma was a complete waste of money, you should throw it in the fire.
That's a first degree burn.
I saw a man at the supermarket today, throw all the milk, butter, cream and yoghurt off the shelves, in a rage.
A man asks a police officer if it’s a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes
Officer: “Yes, that’s assault!”
Man: “I know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”
How do you throw a party in space?
I was sitting in a bar when a man walked in and proceeded to throw some milk, yoghurt and cheese at me
The best thing to do with a crying baby is throw them in the air.
Because what goes up must calm down.
No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole
It all gets spaghettified.
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?
Judge - Yes, that's assault!
Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock!
Me: Honey, did you recycle the old computer, or just throw it in the trash?
My boyfriend: Neither. I put it on the .com-post.
Dad, why did you throw all my belts in the garbage?
Because they're waist products.
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?
My school going son throws a tantrum everytime I bring up maths and numbers in ordinary conversations
Well, what can i say, kids his age are irrational
If you throw a pair of fins in water, they'll float. But if you throw one Fin in the water
How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes?
Judge: yes it’s assault
Me: I know it’s a salt but is it a crime though?
Originally posted by u/CurryMuncher13 on r/Jokes
Just throw all the chlorine in
Me: *throws hands in resignation*
The guy whose hands I just amputated: *looks at me awkwardly*
I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.
I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.
We should throw durex in conflicts.
We know they gonna blow up anyway.
When you don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out...
Did you know back in midevil Russia they had a specific hole that they would throw their rulers in for being too facetious
It was called the tsar chasm
If you are ever in a food fight, throw the peas....
For everyone knows you need to give peas a chance...
Parents are supposed to wrap empty boxes to put under the tree. Then when the children are naughty, throw one in the fire.
But what if they run out of children?
I was surrounded by pigeons in the park that wanted to over throw my sandwich
Go throw a jar of Hellman's in the Lake!
Why shouldn't you throw your marshmallow in the fire?
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French kitchen?
Whenever I see a mime performing on the street, I always make sure I put my hand in my pocket and throw in some invisible money.
My friend said that he wraps empty boxes to put under the tree. Every time one of his kids acts up,he throws them in the fireplace.
I asked him what happens when he runs out of kids?
I keep having to remind my wife & kids not to throw aluminum in the regular trash.
Their commitment to recycling is uncanny.
I had to throw rotting chicken in the trash.
When you throw a Canadian penny in a wishing well
What do you call a man with no legs or arms when you throw him in the lake
Why shouldn’t you throw litter in the fire?
Because it’ll only get lit-ter
TSA made the woman in front of me throw out her sushi.
I commended them on their valiant efforts to stop a potential SUSHIcide bomber!
Turns out they don't like jokes about that. :(
Made my brother-in-law throw an egg at me:
We're oddly competetive about our omlette-making abilities, so tensions were already high.
Him, attempting to flip an omlette:
"Damn, it folded"
Me:
"Y'know, omlette this one slide, but you better step it up"
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Person: Yes, that's assault.
Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
I always carry a stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.
I call it my jingle bell rock.
How do you throw a party in space?
How do you throw a party in space?
How do you throw a party in space?
How do you throw a party in outer space?
How do you throw a party in space?
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