I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, "No the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2021
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An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"

.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Snugl-v301
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2021
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Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....

The floor .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2021
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He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/schymer27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.

The floor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
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Short people can't reach an agreement.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Outrageous_Desk_2187
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 191
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
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What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?

It needs to strain itself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yoddleforavalanche
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?

They study the teachings of the Gouda.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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You have to work hard to reach your goals.

After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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My wife asked, β€œHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”

It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.

It’s just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/truthcopy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2018
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You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2020
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That’s what exactly happened every time I tried to reach out for love
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aki-Lui
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2019
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How does a waterfowl reach a conclusion?

through in-Duck-tion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Generic_Usernm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
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My daughter was complaining today about how she couldn’t reach something

I told her that she’ll grow out of it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Galixee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2020
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Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.

Apparently there were Kurds in her way.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2018
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My friend on IG reach the 1 million milestone and he asked me β€œHow do my haters like me now?”

By double tapping...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/z233444
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2019
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I helped this lady turn on a lamp she couldn't reach...

It was the highlight of my day

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2019
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I'm having a charity event for people who can't reach orgasm

If you can't come let me know

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/salomecrucis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2017
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My mom just married a tool used to reach high places...

So should I call it my step-ladder?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Antwon424
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2018
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How long does it take to reach F from E?

I don't know, depends on the tank.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhymeswithsyringe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2019
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Dad: Son, reach me that henway.

Me: What’s a henway? Dad: About 3 or 4 pounds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2018
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What Do German GPS Systems Say When You Reach Your Destination?

Nein Miles Left To Destination

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TimTheRandomPerson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2019
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Im hosting a charity night for people who cant reach orgasm.

If you cant come let me know

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/z_3_r_k_3_d
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2017
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Just found out that men do not need prostate exams till they reach their mid forties.

My doctor has a lot of explaining to do.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2018
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when will we reach world peas? imgur.com/FLNVp3L
πŸ‘οΈŽ 198
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mgn5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2014
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Arm's reach.

https://imgur.com/a/No35VpC

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Armygayness
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2018
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Beef out of reach

I was at my favorite store shopping for a good NY Strip for dinner. I thought they were all out but I saw that someone had stashed two on the top of the shelf just out of reach.

I was going to take a chance and climb up to get them, but the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2018
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Why couldn't dad reach the couch ?

Because its sofa.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mostlyblackjackets
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2018
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Once you reach the top of Mount Everest

It's all downhill from there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheFeelsGoodMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2017
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My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Please_Disregard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2017
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 325
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShastaBeast87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf

He refused, because the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Annonomon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2020
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My kid couldn’t reach the bowl of meat on the top drawer

Because the steaks were high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yellowlywired
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
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I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2019
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When I reach home, my youngest son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it while making car sounds. His cute antics always make me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease.

It is called Parking Son's disease.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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Someone bet me Β£1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf

I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 203
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/goatsodomizer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2017
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Why couldn't the butcher reach the meat?

The steaks were too high...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2018
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