I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He said, "No the steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"

.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v301
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....

The floor .

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/schymer27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.

The floor.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Short people can't reach an agreement.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?

It needs to strain itself.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?

They study the teachings of the Gouda.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
You have to work hard to reach your goals.

After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”

It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.

It’s just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truthcopy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
That’s what exactly happened every time I tried to reach out for love
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aki-Lui
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a waterfowl reach a conclusion?

through in-Duck-tion

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Usernm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was complaining today about how she couldn’t reach something

I told her that she’ll grow out of it

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Galixee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.

Apparently there were Kurds in her way.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend on IG reach the 1 million milestone and he asked me β€œHow do my haters like me now?”

By double tapping...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/z233444
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I helped this lady turn on a lamp she couldn't reach...

It was the highlight of my day

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm having a charity event for people who can't reach orgasm

If you can't come let me know

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salomecrucis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My mom just married a tool used to reach high places...

So should I call it my step-ladder?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Antwon424
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
How long does it take to reach F from E?

I don't know, depends on the tank.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhymeswithsyringe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: Son, reach me that henway.

Me: What’s a henway? Dad: About 3 or 4 pounds.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What Do German GPS Systems Say When You Reach Your Destination?

Nein Miles Left To Destination

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Im hosting a charity night for people who cant reach orgasm.

If you cant come let me know

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z_3_r_k_3_d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Just found out that men do not need prostate exams till they reach their mid forties.

My doctor has a lot of explaining to do.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
when will we reach world peas? imgur.com/FLNVp3L
πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgn5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Arm's reach.

https://imgur.com/a/No35VpC

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Armygayness
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Beef out of reach

I was at my favorite store shopping for a good NY Strip for dinner. I thought they were all out but I saw that someone had stashed two on the top of the shelf just out of reach.

I was going to take a chance and climb up to get them, but the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't dad reach the couch ?

Because its sofa.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Once you reach the top of Mount Everest

It's all downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFeelsGoodMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Please_Disregard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 325
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShastaBeast87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf

He refused, because the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Annonomon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid couldn’t reach the bowl of meat on the top drawer

Because the steaks were high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlywired
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When I reach home, my youngest son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it while making car sounds. His cute antics always make me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease.

It is called Parking Son's disease.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone bet me Β£1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf

I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goatsodomizer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the butcher reach the meat?

The steaks were too high...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
🚨︎ report

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