I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said, "No the steaks are too high."
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︎ Apr 01 2021
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"
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︎ May 15 2021
Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....
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︎ Apr 01 2021
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
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︎ Jan 25 2021
My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Short people can't reach an agreement.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of fortyβ¦
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︎ Dec 26 2020
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?
It needs to strain itself.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?
They study the teachings of the Gouda.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
You have to work hard to reach your goals.
After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
My wife asked, βHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? Itβs too high for me.β
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.
Itβs just water under the fridge.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...
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︎ Aug 03 2020
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
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︎ Mar 12 2018
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Thatβs what exactly happened every time I tried to reach out for love
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︎ Jul 13 2019
How does a waterfowl reach a conclusion?
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︎ Feb 01 2020
My daughter was complaining today about how she couldnβt reach something
I told her that sheβll grow out of it
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.
Apparently there were Kurds in her way.
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︎ Oct 25 2019
Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
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︎ Dec 20 2018
My friend on IG reach the 1 million milestone and he asked me βHow do my haters like me now?β
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︎ May 17 2019
I helped this lady turn on a lamp she couldn't reach...
It was the highlight of my day
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︎ Jul 17 2019
I'm having a charity event for people who can't reach orgasm
If you can't come let me know
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︎ Dec 03 2017
My mom just married a tool used to reach high places...
So should I call it my step-ladder?
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︎ Nov 28 2018
How long does it take to reach F from E?
I don't know, depends on the tank.
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︎ Jan 21 2019
Dad: Son, reach me that henway.
Me: Whatβs a henway?
Dad: About 3 or 4 pounds.
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︎ Jul 18 2018
What Do German GPS Systems Say When You Reach Your Destination?
Nein Miles Left To Destination
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︎ Jan 23 2019
Im hosting a charity night for people who cant reach orgasm.
If you cant come let me know
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︎ Jun 18 2017
Just found out that men do not need prostate exams till they reach their mid forties.
My doctor has a lot of explaining to do.
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︎ Jul 21 2018
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︎ Jun 18 2014
Arm's reach.
https://imgur.com/a/No35VpC
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︎ May 01 2018
Beef out of reach
I was at my favorite store shopping for a good NY Strip for dinner. I thought they were all out but I saw that someone had stashed two on the top of the shelf just out of reach.
I was going to take a chance and climb up to get them, but the steaks were too high.
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︎ Aug 05 2018
Why couldn't dad reach the couch ?
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︎ Jan 18 2018
Once you reach the top of Mount Everest
It's all downhill from there.
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︎ Aug 28 2017
My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...
...would she chose the latter?
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︎ Jul 17 2017
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boysβ¦
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of fortyβ¦
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
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︎ Dec 13 2019
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.
He told me the steaks were too high.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
I bet a butcher that he couldnβt reach the meat on the top shelf
He refused, because the steaks were too high.
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︎ Mar 09 2020
My kid couldnβt reach the bowl of meat on the top drawer
Because the steaks were high.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.
He told me the steaks were too high.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
When I reach home, my youngest son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it while making car sounds. His cute antics always make me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease.
It is called Parking Son's disease.
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︎ Jun 07 2019
Someone bet me Β£1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf
I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.
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︎ Apr 16 2017
Why couldn't the butcher reach the meat?
The steaks were too high...
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︎ Oct 08 2018
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