It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?

It needs to strain itself.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?

They study the teachings of the Gouda.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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You have to work hard to reach your goals.

After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.

It’s just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truthcopy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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My wife asked, β€œHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”

It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.

It's called Parking Son's disease.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unlucky_genius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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That’s what exactly happened every time I tried to reach out for love
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aki-Lui
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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How does a waterfowl reach a conclusion?

through in-Duck-tion

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Generic_Usernm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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My daughter was complaining today about how she couldn’t reach something

I told her that she’ll grow out of it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Galixee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Breaking news: An Army battalion led by Miss Muffet fails to reach Syria.

Apparently there were Kurds in her way.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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I helped this lady turn on a lamp she couldn't reach...

It was the highlight of my day

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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My friend on IG reach the 1 million milestone and he asked me β€œHow do my haters like me now?”

By double tapping...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z233444
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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My mom just married a tool used to reach high places...

So should I call it my step-ladder?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Antwon424
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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How long does it take to reach F from E?

I don't know, depends on the tank.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhymeswithsyringe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I'm having a charity event for people who can't reach orgasm

If you can't come let me know

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salomecrucis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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Dad: Son, reach me that henway.

Me: What’s a henway? Dad: About 3 or 4 pounds.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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What Do German GPS Systems Say When You Reach Your Destination?

Nein Miles Left To Destination

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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Just found out that men do not need prostate exams till they reach their mid forties.

My doctor has a lot of explaining to do.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
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Im hosting a charity night for people who cant reach orgasm.

If you cant come let me know

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/z_3_r_k_3_d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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when will we reach world peas? imgur.com/FLNVp3L
πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgn5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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Beef out of reach

I was at my favorite store shopping for a good NY Strip for dinner. I thought they were all out but I saw that someone had stashed two on the top of the shelf just out of reach.

I was going to take a chance and climb up to get them, but the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Arm's reach.

https://imgur.com/a/No35VpC

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Armygayness
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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Why couldn't dad reach the couch ?

Because its sofa.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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Once you reach the top of Mount Everest

It's all downhill from there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFeelsGoodMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
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The man wanted to hit the complaint button during his massage but it was just out of reach

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she really rubbed him the wrong way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevehrowe2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Please_Disregard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
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I always struggle to reach the top of the library...

Too many stories.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossage99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2016
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A Cafe had the letters C A F E ad a display within reach.

I rearranged them so they said F A C E. My friend put them back in order, so I said "Hey that's vandalism!"

She said "I fixed it!"

I replied "No, you defaced it!"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/De-Vox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
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The remote was out of arm's reach

Boyfriend was reaching for the remote, complaining that it was too far.

I said, "it's at a remote location."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-like-robots
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2015
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How does Thor reach the sky?

He uses the elevathor!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cluq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf

He refused, because the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Annonomon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 326
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShastaBeast87
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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My kid couldn’t reach the bowl of meat on the top drawer

Because the steaks were high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowlywired
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I bet my butcher he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said he wasn't going to bet with me.

He told me the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
When I reach home, my youngest son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it while making car sounds. His cute antics always make me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease.

It is called Parking Son's disease.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone bet me Β£1000 that I couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf

I told them that I couldn't take the bet, the steaks were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 204
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goatsodomizer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the butcher reach the meat?

The steaks were too high...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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I bet my local butcher $500 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.

He replied, "No way man, the steaks are too high!"

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZangeonS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
🚨︎ report

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