Stretch Puns

A list of puns related to "Stretch"

A friend of mine claimed he saw a Daihatsu stretch limo.

It turned out to be a big Charade.

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👤︎ u/AFCBlink
📅︎ May 24 2021
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I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."

She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."

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👤︎ u/Fukface_Von_Clwnstik
📅︎ May 12 2021
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The last one was a stretch (god that was a bad one too) reddit.com/gallery/k4oyvl
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👤︎ u/AssAssGlasses
📅︎ Dec 01 2020
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To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch
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👤︎ u/JuIius_Seizure95
📅︎ Sep 09 2018
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I bring you a lovely Christmas pun! (maybe lovely is a stretch) imgur.com/gallery/rSq0dav
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👤︎ u/seacrane2
📅︎ Dec 25 2019
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what do you call a woman who can stretch her legs across a tennis court?

Annette

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👤︎ u/necroplasmic
📅︎ Feb 13 2020
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"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.

"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 09 2020
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A friend of mine was discouraged that they couldn't come up with dad jokes. I told them anyone can make dad jokes, you just have to stretch out the thought process a little father.
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👤︎ u/yeezuswasaninsidejob
📅︎ Aug 07 2019
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Risky Dad Joke: My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...

So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.

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👤︎ u/EricTheReddit
📅︎ Jul 10 2014
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Mom: I hear that John's business is doing a lot better. How did he manage to get enough people to slow down on that stretch of highway to even notice his store? Dad: Oh, he followed my advice and put up a billboard.

"Nude Colony Ahead, Keep Your Eyes on the Road!"

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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Bit of a stretch, but has potential if said differently...

"Do you know the alphabet?"

"No, I'm a beta."

"OMeGa"

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👤︎ u/RandomThrowaway12702
📅︎ Apr 14 2019
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I have a stretch limo tesla

It's elon-gated

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👤︎ u/Iwantmyteslanow
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Ive been going to this amazing socialist prenatal yoga center called Stretch Marx.
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👤︎ u/heyitsthatguygoddamn
📅︎ Nov 26 2018
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If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...

...are you testing its utensil strength?

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👤︎ u/BassCuber
📅︎ Dec 01 2018
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After the husband refused to stretch his tender loins, his wife started placing his favorite dinner on the roof for him...

But the steaks were too high

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👤︎ u/oxymoronix
📅︎ May 17 2019
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People always ask why I stretch while on Reddit.

I am a practitioner of Karma Yoga.

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👤︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
📅︎ Mar 28 2019
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Definitely a repost! maybe a bit of a stretch..... So Giraffes...

One of the dumbest animals out there.... Their heads are always in the clouds.

One of the most stubborn too.... Takes them forever to swallow their pride.

At the same time; the nicest! .....They'll stick their neck out for anyone.

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👤︎ u/LetsHaveAGrapeTime
📅︎ Aug 28 2018
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To avoid strain when thinking about working out involves a stretch of my imagination.
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👤︎ u/yeags
📅︎ Jun 25 2017
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What is the most important part of a stretch limo Tesla Model S

Baaaaatery !

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👤︎ u/unsecurewifi
📅︎ Dec 26 2017
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on this one stretch of road my friend always asks "What do cows play?"

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6209/6108929326_d64c168223_z.jpg

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👤︎ u/Pattern_Is_Movement
📅︎ Dec 09 2013
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Too much of a stretch?

http://imgur.com/xP1b2t1

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👤︎ u/Crispmister
📅︎ Feb 11 2014
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