If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....
The impact the aeroplane’s invention has made has been far-reaching
My uncle always jokes that reaching the remote is middle aged yoga.
I say, Yoga?! Pff, that’s a stretch.
The police are looking for a man who is running up to strangers and blocking the sun from reaching them
They describe him as a shady character
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
Injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey...
I'm hosting a charity night for people who have trouble reaching orgasm.
If you can't come please let me know.
When it comes to reaching high places on my own or by using an appropriate tool...
[Monster] I got both of the boys last night, said good night and then I told them "don't move, stay very still" I dove to the floor reaching under the bed and pulled out a monster energy drink and told them there was a Monster under their bed.
What did the russians say reaching the Finish border?
We made it to the finish line.
We were eating breakfast this morning and as my son was reaching for a banana, I suddenly yelled, "Don't eat that! We need to take it to a doctor immediately!""
While reaching for the seasonings at dinner, I ask my wife...
Isn't it weird that when you pepper someone with something it's considered assault?
He's reaching new heights
Me: "I sometimes look up at my school's ceiling and wonder how it gets dirty"
Dad: "I guess it's not their top priority...heh get it? Top!"
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said, "No the steaks are too high."
Ny wife's got so fat, that I've had to keep all the fattening stuff at a place she can't reach....
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
What do you call Muhammad Ali when he reaches his boiling point?
What the fuck has happened to this sub!?
http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz
My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?
Short people can't reach an agreement.
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?
It needs to strain itself.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I have created living numbers! In fact, one of them is psychic and told me that certain things will continue to happen for a long time.
At least for the four-seeable future.
Why is it hard for short people to succeed ?
Because they can’t reach their goals.
I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.
A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top
I said “it’s all downhill from here!”
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?
They study the teachings of the Gouda.
I would make a joke about the lowest temperature that can be reached
But there is absolute zero need or want for it.
You have to work hard to reach your goals.
After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
My wife asked, “Honey, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
Directions for climbing a ladder
Step one
Step two
Step three
Etc.
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.
It’s just water under the fridge.
I have a step ladder at home...
... I never knew my real ladder.
The wedding was so touching that
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
A man and his boy are out on their first camping trip...
They get into a huge fight about the best way to start the camp fire.
The two sit in silence for a few moments, cold and frustrated
The dad promptly reaches into his backpack, grabs a pair of scissors and tears into the wall of their canvas shelter.
The son yells, "What the heck are you doing, you maniac?!!?!?"
The dad turns to him, looks him dead in the eyes, and says, "Just trying to cut the tent-son."
I met my partner after we both reached for the same rifle scope.
You know what they say, love at first sight.
You gotta hand it to dwarves...
...because, sometimes they can't reach.
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal...
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
You really have to hand it to short people
Because they can't reach it themselves
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