If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....

Then she's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
The impact the aeroplane’s invention has made has been far-reaching
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/listeningSaint
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle always jokes that reaching the remote is middle aged yoga.

I say, Yoga?! Pff, that’s a stretch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The police are looking for a man who is running up to strangers and blocking the sun from reaching them

They describe him as a shady character

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepguy797
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm reaching new heights with my puns imgur.com/APzd9We
πŸ‘︎ 379
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πŸ‘€︎ u/State_Farm_Jake
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey...

No pain, no Gain

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayAspen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm hosting a charity night for people who have trouble reaching orgasm.

If you can't come please let me know.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
When it comes to reaching high places on my own or by using an appropriate tool...

I choose the ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
[Monster] I got both of the boys last night, said good night and then I told them "don't move, stay very still" I dove to the floor reaching under the bed and pulled out a monster energy drink and told them there was a Monster under their bed.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alleyrat66
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the russians say reaching the Finish border?

We made it to the finish line.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wivler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
We were eating breakfast this morning and as my son was reaching for a banana, I suddenly yelled, "Don't eat that! We need to take it to a doctor immediately!""

"It isn't peeling well!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
🚨︎ report
While reaching for the seasonings at dinner, I ask my wife...

Isn't it weird that when you pepper someone with something it's considered assault?

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vectorninja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report
He's reaching new heights

Me: "I sometimes look up at my school's ceiling and wonder how it gets dirty"

Dad: "I guess it's not their top priority...heh get it? Top!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirr250631
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
🚨︎ report
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schymer27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call Muhammad Ali when he reaches his boiling point?

Gaseous Clay!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EdibleSteak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.

The floor.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?

An Astro-not.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Short people can't reach an agreement.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?

It needs to strain itself.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have created living numbers! In fact, one of them is psychic and told me that certain things will continue to happen for a long time.

At least for the four-seeable future.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘︎ 191
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
So, I was in a coffee shop drinking tea, and when I reached down to tie my shoe, my tea was gone!

I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it hard for short people to succeed ?

Because they can’t reach their goals.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/primeboy217
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.

I was dad on arrival.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/busterpkeaton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...

He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrickekingFricker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top

I said β€œit’s all downhill from here!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATexanHobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?

They study the teachings of the Gouda.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I would make a joke about the lowest temperature that can be reached

But there is absolute zero need or want for it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spafinmebath
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
You have to work hard to reach your goals.

After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weird_al_yankee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Directions for climbing a ladder

Step one Step two Step three Etc.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huxley0721
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I have two ladders. I’m close to my first ladder..

the other one is my step-ladder..

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? It’s too high for me.”

It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.

It’s just water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/truthcopy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a step ladder at home...

... I never knew my real ladder.

πŸ‘︎ 698
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dream_digital
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A man and his boy are out on their first camping trip...

They get into a huge fight about the best way to start the camp fire.

The two sit in silence for a few moments, cold and frustrated

The dad promptly reaches into his backpack, grabs a pair of scissors and tears into the wall of their canvas shelter.

The son yells, "What the heck are you doing, you maniac?!!?!?"

The dad turns to him, looks him dead in the eyes, and says, "Just trying to cut the tent-son."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The wedding was so touching that

even the cake was in tiers.

Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anoobypro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You gotta hand it to dwarves...

...because, sometimes they can't reach.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of giants?

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I met my partner after we both reached for the same rifle scope.

You know what they say, love at first sight.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.

I felt his presents.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet

Space X has really taken off this past year

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domundead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Need Hella Puns

https://preview.redd.it/wa3s3ozxftc61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=04f10d36e95914e4d39ec2312ce5176a062911b1

Who thinks they're punny?! πŸ˜œβ €β €I sketched this Hellraiser holding a cactus and thought it'd make a cute Valentine's Day card. I'm in the process of colouring it and I want YOU to help me caption it.β €

I've asked the question on IG (@ashrobertsondesign) but didn't get a lot of feedback so I'm reaching out here. Gimme your best prick, point, hell, etc. related puns n make it about love πŸ”₯

I'll choose a favourite from the comments and turn it into a FREE Valentine's Day card printable.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashtrobertson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

Damn near poked my eye out.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal...

Then she's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You really have to hand it to short people

Because they can't reach it themselves

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/High_on_Strife
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
You really got to hand it to short people...

Mainly because they can't reach it themselves.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B3A5TxM0DE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report

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