If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
The impact the aeroplaneβs invention has made has been far-reaching
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
My uncle always jokes that reaching the remote is middle aged yoga.
I say, Yoga?! Pff, thatβs a stretch.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
The police are looking for a man who is running up to strangers and blocking the sun from reaching them
They describe him as a shady character
π︎ 112
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
π︎ 379
π
︎ Jul 09 2016
Injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
I'm hosting a charity night for people who have trouble reaching orgasm.
If you can't come please let me know.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 16 2018
When it comes to reaching high places on my own or by using an appropriate tool...
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 24 2018
[Monster] I got both of the boys last night, said good night and then I told them "don't move, stay very still" I dove to the floor reaching under the bed and pulled out a monster energy drink and told them there was a Monster under their bed.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 24 2018
What did the russians say reaching the Finish border?
We made it to the finish line.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 22 2018
We were eating breakfast this morning and as my son was reaching for a banana, I suddenly yelled, "Don't eat that! We need to take it to a doctor immediately!""
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 20 2017
While reaching for the seasonings at dinner, I ask my wife...
Isn't it weird that when you pepper someone with something it's considered assault?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Oct 01 2015
He's reaching new heights
Me: "I sometimes look up at my school's ceiling and wonder how it gets dirty"
Dad: "I guess it's not their top priority...heh get it? Top!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 19 2014
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What do you call Muhammad Ali when he reaches his boiling point?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
My son is getting so fat, I've decided to put all his favourite snacks at a place he can't reach.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?
π︎ 105
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Short people can't reach an agreement.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of fortyβ¦
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
What does a virus need to do in order to reach more people?
It needs to strain itself.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
I have created living numbers! In fact, one of them is psychic and told me that certain things will continue to happen for a long time.
At least for the four-seeable future.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
π︎ 191
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
So, I was in a coffee shop drinking tea, and when I reached down to tie my shoe, my tea was gone!
I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...thatβs not my cup of tea
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
Why is it hard for short people to succeed ?
Because they canβt reach their goals.
π︎ 120
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
I really wanted to be there for the birth of my child. I drove like an idiot and almost got into an accident. But when I reached the hospital, I found out it was all for nothing.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I bet a butcher $20 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...
He said "Sorry man. The steaks are too high."
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top
I said βitβs all downhill from here!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
π︎ 110
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
How do lesser cheeses reach enlightenment?
They study the teachings of the Gouda.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
I would make a joke about the lowest temperature that can be reached
But there is absolute zero need or want for it.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
You have to work hard to reach your goals.
After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
Directions for climbing a ladder
Step one
Step two
Step three
Etc.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
If my bookcase realizes it wants to store dishes instead of books, it has reached shelf actualization.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I have two ladders. Iβm close to my first ladder..
the other one is my step-ladder..
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
My wife asked, βHoney, could you reach that dish on the top shelf? Itβs too high for me.β
It was a challenge, but I stepped up to the plate.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 08 2020
I dropped a piece of ice, and it slid out of reach. I decided to let it be.
Itβs just water under the fridge.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
I have a step ladder at home...
... I never knew my real ladder.
π︎ 698
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
A man and his boy are out on their first camping trip...
They get into a huge fight about the best way to start the camp fire.
The two sit in silence for a few moments, cold and frustrated
The dad promptly reaches into his backpack, grabs a pair of scissors and tears into the wall of their canvas shelter.
The son yells, "What the heck are you doing, you maniac?!!?!?"
The dad turns to him, looks him dead in the eyes, and says, "Just trying to cut the tent-son."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 24 2021
The wedding was so touching that
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
You gotta hand it to dwarves...
...because, sometimes they can't reach.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
I met my partner after we both reached for the same rifle scope.
You know what they say, love at first sight.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 12 2020
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Need Hella Puns
https://preview.redd.it/wa3s3ozxftc61.png?width=4500&format=png&auto=webp&s=04f10d36e95914e4d39ec2312ce5176a062911b1
Who thinks they're punny?! πβ β I sketched this Hellraiser holding a cactus and thought it'd make a cute Valentine's Day card. I'm in the process of colouring it and I want YOU to help me caption it.β
I've asked the question on IG (@ashrobertsondesign) but didn't get a lot of feedback so I'm reaching out here. Gimme your best prick, point, hell, etc. related puns n make it about love π₯
I'll choose a favourite from the comments and turn it into a FREE Valentine's Day card printable.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
π︎ 206
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal...
π︎ 163
π
︎ Aug 23 2018
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boysβ¦
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of fortyβ¦
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
You really have to hand it to short people
Because they can't reach it themselves
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
You really got to hand it to short people...
Mainly because they can't reach it themselves.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
