What’s in the kitchen but belongs in a zoo?
I have a friend that steals hand-held kitchen tools in broad daylight.
Hes quite the whisk taker
My boyfriend told me he already turned the clocks forward an hour in the kitchen. I told him he is a man ahead of his time.
I purchased a new kitchen sink and the delivery man never told me he left in on my doorstep. Sat there all day
My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!
What happens when you throw a grenade into a French kitchen?
While walking around the kitchen today, I realized that we sprung a leak.
Why did the birdie cross the kitchen?
I recently robbed a kitchen hardware store...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
One for the intellectuals (and the kitchen-dwellers). Digital scales are so fragile.
I can tare them with one finger. I am SO sorry everyone have a great day.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music....
Think it's the Chopin board.
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
If you're Russian in the kitchen what are you in the bathroom?
Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen
I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
My cat fell off the kitchen counter trying to push the food bowl...
I guess there is a mis-cat-culation
From my 70 year old dad: I hung up a map of the US in the kitchen and gave my wife a dart. I told her we would go on a two week vacation wherever she stuck the dart.
Looks like we’ll be spending two weeks behind the fridge.
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I robbed a kitchen utensils shop last night...
To make it big, you gotta take some whisks.
Selling kitchen utensils is a wisky business
So is selling hard liquor
I cloned myself and he is following me everywhere. To the garage, kitchen, bathroom....
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself
I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea
I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing
Chris Ubank just advised me to shop lift some kitchen utensils
He said, if I wanted to make it big, I would have to take some whisks.
I lost my job at the salvation army soup kitchen last night.
All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
You wouldn't know it by looking at him, but my friend is a natural at remodeling kitchens.
I've never had an eggs benedict at a restaurant as good as the one I can make in my own kitchen.
There's no place like home for the hollandaise.
What do you call a person who can't stop stealing kitchen supplies?
I get a thrill out of stealing kitchen utensils
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.
Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.
My wife told me to stop stealing her kitchen utensils or else.
But that's a whisk I'm willing to take.
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens.
If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
Last night my son saw a mouse in the kitchen so he wiped down all the counters and cleaned everything...
Tonight I'm putting the mouse in the bathroom.
I robbed a kitchen utensil store
I stole a mixer from the kitchen in work today
It was a whisk i was willing to take
Did you hear about the Italian chef that slipped in the kitchen?
Wren kitchens have just been closed down by the police
Apparently it was a big counter fitting operation
I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.
I have been taking it for granite all these years.
Kitchen scale
My 5 yr old son pulled down the kitchen scale and asked me what it was for. I explained what it was and we left the kitchen.
Later, my wife asks me what our son was asking about so I told her we were talking about what the kitchen scale is used for. She then asks me "Why is it still on the counter? Why didn't you put it away?!"
I said "Because, we were weighing his options."
For the lobsters in the kitchen....
...the sinking of the Titanic was a 'miracle'.
My Brother used to Steal from Kitchen Supply Stores..
He was always the whisk-taker in the family.
My wife is always threatening to harm me if I keep stealing her kitchen utensils...
but that’s a wisk I’m willing to take.
If you're Russian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
I saw 10 ants in my kitchen this morning
... I guess I must be their landlord and they my tenants.
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
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