After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter's eye. "I want a bottle of your best wine," he ordered.
"What year?" asked the waiter.
"Right now!" the husband said
One thing led to another, and the father and son get into a pretty heated argument.
The son stands up and storms off, headed to his room.
As he is going up the stairs, he yells down to his dad, "Jim Morrison is overrated!!!"
So, the dad screams back, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS?!?!?!"
“Dang!” I replied. “I really thought I’d nailed it.”
but for some reason she just rolled her eyes when I suggested this one
But when I got home, the tables were turned...
I guess I’m just feeling very chairtable.
I complained to the owner, but even she didn’t give a fork.
I replied, "Notable."
I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.
I thought, they really need to kick that family out.
It rolled away and I exclaimed, “Look, a rollercoaster!”
... and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theater followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. 'You just happened to catch my eye.'
...I got Rich Quick.
It even has a table of contents!
My son says "daddy look, mommy made cookies!" Knowing it meant being kicked out of the kitchen, I still said, "actually son, those smell like OVERcookies to me"
So I said, "You know what they say about white winos?"
How am I not a dad yet?
So I told him "hey, just because it's A table doesn't make it E table"
The filthy look he gave me made me think this qualifies as a dad joke
Her: "Are cows nice?"
Me: "Of course they are. That's why we tip them."
I said it was Oaktimus Pine...
My father's favourite when dining abroad, being served by waiters whose English aren't perfect:
W: You finish?
D: No, we're Norwegian!
My SO and I were arguing which taste better so we decided to do a blind test on each one.
After deciding that Cholula was better, I said "Now you can tell your friends we experimented to spice up our lives."
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
But when I got home the tables were turned.